Quite a range of experiences...my only ryokan stays were at the truly budget family run Super 8's and Motel 6's of the more rural areas of Hokkaido and Kyushu.

One unisex tub at the smaller places.
Can't stay in the room during the day.
Footwear etiquette should be closely observed.
Breakfast and dinner were included, in a communal area...fish in the seaside villages, but the proprietors tried to accomodate us by attempts at western cuisine (their idea).
Local TV in the room, phone available but no internet access.
Communal toilets, although the commodes were of the latest electronic "butt washer" design. And heated. Why western pampered rears haven't wholly embraced this technology escapes me, although it's probably because it's a guilty 'pleasure'.
Tokyo, Nagoya, Kyoto, Sapporo, Osaka, and the other big cities are islands where you can get by on only English without too much trouble. The further you are out in the country, the more difficult it is too communicate. And the signs stop being written in Romanji...

MHO...Stay at a ryokan, it's a great time. The folks I encountered have been great. Wouldn't rely on it as the only place to stay for any more than a few days, though, unless you really want an "immersion" experience.
If you need to save some money, either get way out of town or stay in a "business class" hotel in town to save some yen. Plenty of western places to stay in the large cities for $100 USD or so if you ask around.

However, if this is your first visit to Japan, you may want to stick to the western accomodations until you get the more accustomed to things, and hit the ryokan and onsen on the next trip. And yes, once you've gone, there will probably be a next trip.

Hope you have a great time!