Originally Posted by apudme
I think, far from being a "class" thing it's much more a DYKAIK symptom - "do you know anyone I know"
I definately can relate, even beyond schools and the associated networks. Simply if someone is from a place I lived in, I invariably always ask about it. I even became friends with a girl in Los Angeles; we lived on the same street in the UK and attended the same school, in turned out.
Doubtful we would have become friends had those questions not been proposed.
Originally Posted by apudme
Plus there is a sense of independence gained from a young age, a world view gleaned from having classmates who lived all over the world, and a feeling of shared experience which does in my opinion stand out in those who boarded.
I have friends from both state and independent schools, Oxbridge and Red Brick, and while it matters not a jot at the end of the day, I do have a certain commonality with other PLU's which personally puts me at ease - much less about discrimination and snobbery but rather a familiarity and a mutual understanding of what it was like growing up away from home, which cannot help but have an effect (both good and bad) on a person's character.
I can relate to this somewhat, although in my case I attended "private" schools in several different parts of the world, mostly international schools (and a "public" school while living in/near London). There was a certain commonality with other people who traveled, expats, third culture kids and the like. We even competed against each other in sport; in Austria the European international schools have ski races against one another, for example.
I have an extended network of friends even to this day, and we regularly get together; most recently in Paris. Even my parents have associations via the schools I attended; over the summer my mother met up with her friends (i.e. parents of my old friends in some cases) in Cannes or somesuch place. There definately is an affinity in that regard, even if not completely the same as public schools in England, in terms of coming from the same background and being at ease with people who are not completely grounded in one place, or find it perfectly normal to go through the day speaking two or more languages. And far from being about snobbery, it is more about commonality (and indeed, most expats and those living "abroad" are not filthy rich and the sky-high school fees are usually paid for by someone else).
Originally Posted by Jenbel
And then of course, with that shared experience, you may not realise how unimportant the whole school question is, and how shallow it makes those that ask it appear, particularly 15 + years after leaving school
Sorry, but you should be aware that if I'm asked it, it does tend to lower my estimation of the people who ask it
This definately is a consideration. I have more than once been accused of snobbery because of my travel or always talking about "when I lived there" or "my friend here" etc. So I tend to tread carefully, and don't bring up thing simply to talk or make conversation. I definately do not ask people, for no reason, where they went to school or university, unless it forms part of the natural progression of the conversation or topic under discussion.