Sometimes I feel I’m at war with incompetence, and when I get to feeling that way I get frustrated because it is evident to me that I am losing.

Tonight I was flying YUL-PHL. Arrived at the airport at about 6:45pm. Nice time to get there. No lines. The place is basically deserted save for the check in ladies looking a bit bored. Breeze through check in. Nice agents. We joke.

Get to customs. No line. Now I have my pick of customs agents. The agent asks a few questions more out of boredom than anything else. She even lets me bring my smoked meat sandwich to the terminal to eat!

Swing on through to security and things are still looking good. Only about 20 people ahead of me in line. And then voilà. I stand. And wait. The line does not move. It took me roughly twenty minutes – perhaps a shade longer – to get through this miniscule line! In the long time I stood there and waited and waited I became increasingly frustrated as I watched and pondered the utter stupidity and incompetence of the CATSA setup.

The line was slow because only one single screening area (of, I think, six) was open. That was the essential problem. So anytime someone got to the x-ray machine and took the typical 45 seconds to empty pockets, etc., everyone in line waited for that person. Then every single person was being wanded after passing through the metal detector. Only one person to wand so everyone had to wait.

The amazing thing was the misallocation of staff. First was a little cluster that ranged from 3-5 agents at the beginning of line screening pax in order, I assume, to conduct random checks. But these people were busy chatting and laughing and socializing and when they did find someone to screen, only one person took that person back, leaving anywhere from 2-4 still standing in their little cluster.

The most hilarious use (or misuse) of CATSA manpower was the agent at the end of the line to direct people to one of the six x-ray machines. But of course since only one machine was open he had no role that I could see. When I finally arrived at the head of the line, his job was to tell me: “Number 1/ Numéro 1” and point me to the one single working machine. Perhaps it was a good thing he was there, as I might have wandered over to one of the roped-off, closed machines but for his assistance!

As for the x-ray machine, there were anywhere from 4-6 people manning it. Only one person wanding pax. Had they added a second person to wand the line we would have moved twice as fast, since he wanded every person that I could see. Of course had they opened up a second machine things would really have moved.

Perhaps it really does take 10 security agents to man one single machine and metal detector – what do I know? But if so, they need to have 20 agents there as long as the airport is open. With this setup, one problem passenger – one bag that needs to be re-checked, one person who takes 5 minutes to undress in front of the machine – and the entire line waits, and waits and waits. I’ve never seen anything like it.

To be sure, this is not the first time I have been impressed with the utter incompetence of the CATSA staff at the transborder YUL. A few months ago I was there at a busy time (when all the machines were open and working, and although the line was roughly 8-9 times longer, I actually moved faster through security). I watched one of the groups staffing one of the machines for several minutes. And I watched them with increasing incredulity as they chatted and laughed with each other and joked and seemed to be having a grand old time – and not paying the slightest bit of attention to the bags moving through the machine! The person who was supposed to be checking actually turned away from the screen for a few minutes to participate in the jovial conversation with her companions. When I got to the head of the line I told one of the agents that security might be tighter if they actually looked at the bags as they went through. I got a nasty comment in response but at least the laughing and joking ended.

I wonder if this problem is common with CATSA. Do others have similar experiences? Is the YUL transborder worse than elsewhere or is it typical? The place seems remarkably badly managed to me. The only person I could see actually working was the supervisor, who was running to and fro but having no effect whatsoever on getting her staff to work. Believe me I have no love for TSA, but I must say that notwithstanding their aggressive stupidity, their lines do at least move.

Does writing a letter have any effect? Whom should I write?