I think every post in this thread makes reasonable and valid points, including the first one.
Like everything in life, this issue has no black and white. Is a scale from one extreme to another. Reasonable people probably find a position somewhere in the middle.

My position is that our patronage should be rewarded as outlined in these programs. If customers do their part, the businesses should do theirs. On the other hand, elites should understand that the entire program is simply a marketing tool to increase revenue and build a successful business. To gratify elites at all cost and at the expense of the business would defeat the whole purpose and eventually there would be no airline, or hotel chain, etc....There may be some elites who are unreasonable in their demands but I don't think many are....
As for special perks such as elite lines and special priority, these are a well deserved benefits earned by directing all our business at a particular airline. For the occasional traveler, no big deal. For a frequent traveler, this is very important and rightly so....