I always have the res agent put a note in my ressie that it's my birthday. I don't email or call ahead to say I hope they'll do something special for me. If it happens great, if not no worries.

Since it's for a companion, don't mention that you've contacted the hotel in advance so that if the hotel doesn't do anything there won't be a let-down, and if they do it will be a pleasant 'surprise'.

Cheers. Sharon