Ciao, Jerry!
I'm a chef/restaurant owner and your point is well taken (no pun intended). I ask my servers to determine what the guest really wants. Once we know this, the kitchen can cook to order. The terms "rare, medium, etc" do vary from place to place. Volunteer the info to your server. It's the only way to insure that you'll be happy. By the way, for those of you who order medium-well to well, a good kitchen hand picks the proper steak for you. A well done steak should start with a very marbled piece of beef so that you don't end up with a dish of dead protein.