Originally Posted by FlyBalletGuy

Everyone else's advice about this has been good. I would recommend a therapist as well as a marriage counselor. You have a lot of discussion about your own feelings and years of being in the closet you may want to have. You may need to see two different people for that - a marriage counselor's allegiance is (rightly) to you and your wife. You may need someone to talk to who is only thinking about you. Just be sure to pick someone gay positive.

The actual title of the therapist matters less than what they do and how you feel after the session, although the ability to prescribe medication may come in handy if the depression you described is chronic or clinical.

When I saw an MSW (social worker), she just was not the right fit for me. I interacted with her badly, censored what I was saying to her and left every session vaguely angry at the session itself. I ceased after three sessions. My next practitioner was a gay male psychiatrist and he worked out very well. Your mileage will vary, but one thing I can say about a good therapy relationship was that no matter how painful the topic in the session I always left it feeling better at the end. In the wrong situation, I just left feeling like I had wasted my time.

OK, now that we've taken care of the trivia we need to get to the important aspect of your new sexual identity.

Your wardrobe.

You're gay now, dear. We're going to burn all your Dockers.