Ahh. Yes. A friend and I decided to drive to California. We agreed to split the gas and hotels (think Motel 6) and buy our own meals/personal items.

I had just moved to MN from Wisconsin, and she drove up to my place with her many bags, but she'd forgotten her purse/money. Her mom agreed to mail her money/CC's to to our friend's place in California, and I offered to pay for everything until we got there and she could pay back her share. It was either that or an 8 hour RT back to her house. Not a good way to start the trip.

We agreed to change drivers at each fill up, but I ended up driving 90% of the time because she didn't 'feel' like it. Then she suddenly didn't like fast food...and every meal HAD to be in a craptastic truck stop or greasy spoon. I've personally seen this women eat more Chicken McNuggets than any other human alive, so this was news to me. I was a poor young'un and cheap was the name of the game, so sitdown meals were a luxury I hadn't planned for. I started to envision being penniless in California if her money didn't show up. Then she began suggesting major trip changes...let's detour to Lake Tahoe and skip the Grand Canyon next week, etc.

The coup de grace was when we made it to Sacremento, where she did get her money...and for the two days there she made no effort to pay back a penny I had a rough figure of what her share came to, and politely put the subject on the table. To which she exclaimed "There is NO WAY it can be that high, I want to see the receipts".

I was completely pi$sed off. I *had* kept most receipts so I sat with her to calculate it all up...and my previous guess was some $200 in her favor. That didn't even include the little things, like tips, sodas, etc. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't all about the money...it was the fact I had carried her a$$ for five days and she didn't even appreciate it.

She reluctantly paid me back with a big sigh and a semi-snotty "there you go, then", never apologizing for being wrong. And we got back on the road. Everything got into a normal routine again, but it wasn't the same, and I drifted away from her once we were back home. The trip was full of great moments, of course, but I never got over the accusation I was ripping her off, the lack of apology once she knew she was wrong, or the lack of gratitude for paying her way due to her mistake.

On the other hand, I have travelled plenty since then with friends and loved every experience. The key is to know what you're getting into, which I learned the hard way 1000 miles from home.

My suggestion is to allow your friend to plan a few days, you plan a few days, and wing the rest. Each make a list of what is most important to you and share it. Set down rules on how you'll split the costs, whether it's "I'll buy dinner tonight, you get it tomorrow" or splitting everything down to the penny. And try to compromise and expect compromise from your travel companion. And sweat the small things