We are friends with 2 couples who used to be our neighbors in our old home. We all got along great and often vacationed together with the kids.
The three couples decided to go on a cruise together. One of the husbands, I'll call him Larry, worked for AA so we got a fantastic deal on a cruise to Bermuda on Celebrity Cruise Lines.
Well, you know what they say about "too much togetherness". Larry was always the kind of person who was a little rough around the edges, and spoke his mind a bit more often than maybe he should. We always accepted him and his quirks because we love his wife, and they were always good neighbors. Larry is not what you would call the brightest bulb in the box (functioning illiterate, actually) but that never really was an issue in the friendship.
Anyway, Bermuda is a bit of a classy place. Larry didn't quite fit in at times. We walked by the Fairmont Princess pool and he remarked how nice the pool looked, and that he was going to jump in later and take a swim. (Mind you, we weren't guests; we were on a cruise ship.) Later, we were on a small excursion boat with about 20 other people, and they had a water cooler on board. Larry put his mouth under the spigot of the cooler to take a drink. Kinda made me wince. A bit later, as we walked down the main shopping street in Hamilton, he got warm and removed his shirt, a big no-no in Bermuda.
I think the topper was at dinner. It was a formal night, and our waiter came to the table. The waiter had been great the entire cruise, however Larry felt that he resembled PeeWee Herman, and took every opportunity to remind the waiter of that. (The waiter was from the Philippines and may not even know who PeeWee Herman is.)
Well, that pushed me over the top and I politely told Larry that he was really being insensitive and rude, to which he told me what he thought of me
It ended with me getting up from the table, whispering a choice phrase or two into Larry's ear, and me (with my husband following) leaving the dining room.
Now when you are on a cruise ship and have a falling out with your shipmates, there aren't many other places to go. The sister ship of our ship happened to be in the same port with us, but both ships were filled to capacity and there was no exchanging our room. I did call Delta and put a flight from Bermuda back home on hold while I thought about what to do.
To make a long story longer
, Larry's wife Madeline came to our room the next day in tears, apologizing profusely for her husbands behavior. She said that for years she has been uncomfortable in public situations with him as he just lacks social skills. She cried to us that she was even embarassed in front of her own family, and only felt truly comfortable when they were with Larry's family, as they all behave similarly and that was the only setting in which she felt at ease. She also confided that we (us and the other couple) were the only true friends they had because of Larry's lack of social graces.
That night, we resolved to meet up in the Martini Bar. Both Larry and I hugged and each apologized; we headed to dinner (I can only IMAGINE what the people at the neighboring tables thought after what had transpired a night or two before!) and never spoke of the incident again.
I decided never to vacation with them again. And essentially, we haven't. I do think I have a greater understanding of his limitations now and accept the way he is.
I think spending a lot of time with any other person, especially someone who you are not used to being with 24/7, can be a strain on a friendship.