<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by brooklynflyer:
Care to share their lame suggestions about how make our trips more comfortable?
This is what I can see them saying:
1. Just buy F tickets for all of your flights--that way you never have to worry about upgrades.
2. If you're too much of a low life to afford F, buy Y-tickets so that you can upgrade immediately into F (except we always zero out F, but at least you'll get our no middle seat worthless guarantee).
3. If you are really, really cheap, book something less than a Y ticket. As a valued elite member, you sit in our elite section in coach which is absolutely identical to the rest of coach except that it shows up as blue colored seats on our website. You can enjoy meals at mealtimes in coach (which usually consists of a micrscopically small ham or turkey sandwhich if we're feeling generous, if not you get peanuts as your meal).
4. Buy a PC membership. You'll enjoy comfortable surroundings in the fewer and fewer lounges we still have.
5. Celebrate obtaining your elite seat in coach by buying some alcohol from us. Profits from our alcohol sales will be used to fund our CEO's pension fund, er, I mean better salads.
6. If you're travelling internationally, buy a seat in our award winning BF cabin (that is still nowhere near what Singapore, BA, Virgin or CX offer). If you or your employer is too cheap to drop $6-7K on our product, buy a coach seat where you can enjoy our award winning* 31-inch pitch. You can also try to upgrade but, good luck, with our award upgrade policy more complicated than the federal income tax code, hell, we don't even understand it.
We hope these suggestions will help you enjoy our award winning service. Work Hard, Fly Right.
*"Airline Most Likely to Cause Deep Vein Thrombosis--1st place" from the American Medical Association
[This message has been edited by brooklynflyer (edited 11-01-2003).]</font>
LOL!!! Great Stuff!!!