Alright, alright...in a perfect world "steaks, seafood, cocktails" suggests big, strech-out booths, amateur but very friendly service, good real drinks (and we're not talking "martooni's" or Long Island Iced Teas or Chivas on ice), and perfectly cooked steaks without the whole "how do you want your's cooked?" litany. But more often then not it means silly drinks (Sex on the Beach, Fuzzy Navel), crappy salad bar, sketchy bogs, crumbly shrimp (usually the only "seafood" offered, along with lobster tail at "market price" -- watch out for those lobster speculators at table 3A!), a paltry wine list to complement the silly drinks, pretentious customers who think paying $28.99 for a "choice cut" licenses them to be obnoxious and patronizing to the wait staff, and a ridiculously overpriced fare that is essentially gussied-up fast food. The clientele usually has no idea that they are being fleeced by the whole sham, and couldn't tell the difference between tenderloin and T-bone if blindfolded. The good "steaks, seafood, cocktails" gigs are completely unpretentious; the bad ones are pretentious about being unpretentious. The good ones treat eveyone like an old friend; the bad ones, like old underwear.