Midnight HP hub connection at LAS. The only food in the gate area is Taco Bell, and the sign there reads, "Out of tacos, burritos, quesadillas, and fountain drinks." 1/4 mile down a non-working moving walkway with my bags there is a Burger King:

"Can I have a Whopper small combo?"
"What size fries and drinks."
"Small fries, small drinks."
"We don't have small, the smallest we have is 'medium.'"
"The smallest you have is medium! Whatever happened to 'Have It Your Way?'"
"Sir, we don't have 'Have It Your Way on fries and drinks. You can have large, that would be having it your way."
"No, that would be having it YOUR way. Having it MY way would be 'small.'"
"What time is my shift over?"