Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts.

How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? If she farts, her ankles swell.

Confucius say, "Man who fart in church sit in own pew."

"Darling," says a husband coyly to his wife, "let's swap positions tonight." "What a good idea," she replies. "You stand in front of the sink and do the dishes and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart."