I have seen many of the things you have all described -- from security at JFK yakking away while I'm struggling to get my briefcase
strap out of the conveyer to (and this alwasy happens at LAX) for the security people to ask that I take out my Wizard, turn it on and give it to them to play with.

Some airports (EWR, LAG) only let people through with tickets, others let anyone through (DFW for example.)

Craziest Security experience: In Tokyo on our way to Beijing where I got pulled over, asked to take my toiletries case out and having to take each and every item out. The officer opened the Tylenol bottle and made me take out every pill. he also did not know what the caplets were in the bottle (I also keep my Contac capsules in there to save space.)
He told me they're stepping up DRUG Searches.

I guess it also depends on what security system you go through. At Lufthansa in Frankfurt I beeped every time I went through the gate and was nearing the point of undressing! I even took off my belt and told the guard you can frisk me if you want!

Somewhat OMNI: In defense of some security people, twice the SAME woman at EWR retrieved and gave to me: a Brooks Brothers Jacket and a set of keys which in my rush I left at security.