Well, I passed through LAX and it wasn't at all zoo like.
Check-in : no queue
Stupid checked bag security section : one person in front of me
Security : one person in front of me
Total time from entering the building to being in the lounge : 15 mins ^
But the lounge is awful. Worse than awful. Embarrasing. Considering that there are three BA 747's and five QF 747's everyday, plus Air Pacific 747 and Lan Chile flights as well, it is tiny! No decent facilities, although there is some champagne (sorry, California sparkling wine, it doesn't come from France

) in the fridge