Quite a surprise this morning

Booked a Q transatlantic ticket via AMS and DTW on klm.com. No seat assignments, so I went on nwa.com but the FB number was not in the booking, even though it had been made using by FB name, address and credit card template Anyway, entered the FB Gold number but nwa.com wouldn't let me at the "premium" NW A330 seats (the ones without IFE boxes under the seats, so we're talking tolerable legroom here, not luxury). Apparently nwa.com doesn't recognise my number as FB Gold. Called NW where a friendly agent explained that Flying Blue accounts do not export first names, only first initials and so the names do not match the reservations - this is true, the booking says "Alastair" while the account says only "A". Can such a ludicrous and frustrating situation be true? I can see the seats to which I'm entitled, but can't have them.

I called FB who told me they couldn't deal with reservations or seat assignments and directed me to KL reservations on 0870 245 0541. This turned out to be a "rapid chat hot dating" sex line. Called FB again, agent said "change the second 5 to a 3", which gave me the Sudbury branch of Waitrose supermarket. I think she meant change the first 5 to a 3. Anyway, the obliging gentleman who answered 0870 243 0541 could not assign seats on NW but offered to make a request for a change at check-in (too late, I fear).

So Flying Blue is generous by nature: while it can't even offer elite members the most basic service of pre-assigned long-haul seats, it can help them talk dirty to willing partners for only 8p a minute. Mind you, as another Flyertalker said, being screwed by your airline call centre doesn't technically constitute phone sex...