This is a long, long rant involving seat assignment screwups, and admittedly, a rather minor problem in the grand scheme of things (we safely got from A to B, on time and with our bags), but a disappointing and frustrating episode where I tried to be proactive and ensure a smooth travel experience for my family and fellow travellers, but was let down by UA. Plus an example of how it's not necessarily the passengers' fault when a family is scattered throughout the airplane. The reason for posting is that I'm curious if anyone can shed light on just what happened and how.

I travelled recently with my wife and 2-year old daughter ORF-IAD-SJC and return. I'm a 1P, others no status. I'm on a PNR by myself, wife and daughter are on a separate PNR, same itinerary. The PNR's were linked and cross-referenced to each other. The tickets were purchased back in February.

Since we wouldn't all be allowed in E+, I got us all seat assignments near the back. On the IAD-SJC segments (A319/320, forgot which right now), I got 22C, wife and daughter had 22D and 22F. The logic being that if the flight wasn't full, 22E would hopefully stay empty, and daughter would have a little extra room to move around, and if the flight was full, the unlucky recipient of 22E would get my 22C seat and I'd move across the aisle.

Between February and now, there were several schedule changes, but all were small shifts in departure/arrival times, no equipment changes or anything major. Each time I would dutifully call and re-confirm all the reservations and seat assignments. Never a problem. Until we actually tried to fly, that is.

Checkin in ORF smooth, no troubles, received our boarding passes for IAD-SJC flights. When boarding at IAD, the gate reader spits back my wife's BP. Agent tries to figure out what's wrong with it. For some reason, her seat is already taken. While they try and sort things out, the entire airplane finished boarding. Finally they see that the system shows my wife has not been checked in, and therefore the seats had been cancelled. Since ORF is handled by a non-UA, non-UAX ground handling company, I assume they botched something at checkin. How we all got the correct boarding passes, however, is a mystery if they made a mistake.

At any rate, the flight's nearly full, and they give my wife 11E, an E+ middle. Obviously this won't work, with me in 22C, 2-yr old in 22F, and mom in 11E! I was hoping it wouldn't be too much trouble to play musical chairs, swapping 22C for 22D (aisle-to-aisle), and 22E to 11E (E- to E+). What annoyed me was that the gate agents expected me to make all the requests to the other pax. We then boarded (last ones), I talked with the FA and explained, she said it shouldn't be too much trouble to get the other passengers to trade. But she wouldn't come down to ask them, that was left to us. Luckily, both affected pax agreed, and with many thanks from us, we all got ourselves reseated. So we were able to sit together in 22DEF for the trip.

I knew this would have implications for our return, so I contacted UA once in the bay area, and they confirmed that my wife's onward reservations had been blocked because of the 'non-check-in'. They were able to fix everything, and re-confirm all our seat assignments, again 22C, 22D and 22F.

Eight hours before departure, I again called UA, they were able to confirm everything yet again, including seat assignments. And before anyone asks, all my conversations with UA were with US-based agents.

Check-in at SJC, 5AM for a 705AM flight. Agent checks us in, blindly handing me our BP's. Lo and behold, I have 22C, wife has 21E, daughter has 22E. ...?
I said hold on, we have confirmed seat assignments, etc. She says no we don't, there are NO assignments in the reservations, only a request for 22D and F. It didn't dawn on her, nor faze her when I pointed out that she just placed a 2-year old by herself on the airplane. She said she can't do anything, talk to the gate agent. Knowing it would be pointless to argue, and knowing there will be a long security line to deal with, we headed down to security. While in line, I called UA, they couldn't understand what was going on, they were showing that they had confirmed seats in 22D and F, nothing 'on request' or anything else. While family waited in line, I walked back to the desk, told the agent what reservations just told me, she said there's nothing she can do, talk to the gate agent.

Back at security, ID checker starts barking at me that I have to show her my driver's license, that my FEDERAL GOVT ID was not good enough. I then look closer at my BP. You guessed it--- SSSS! Just me, that is-- elite member, round-trip ticket, official govt business. My family, non-status on a botched reservation, no SSSS. But I digress.

By the time we finished with the SSSS groping and wanding, we get to the gate while boarding is in progress. Explain the the agent at the desk our problem. He shrugs his shoulders, says the flight's full, tells me to ask passengers if they'll switch. Great, thanks a lot. Climb up the stairs to the airplane, no FA's near the door. Head to the back and see what to do. We get the guy in 22D to trade with my 22C seat, so at least mom and daughter can sit together in 22D/E, while I take the middle seat in front of them, 21E. While getting ourselves arranged and seated, a different GA is onboard, and starts scolding me to take my seat, we can't leave until everyone's seated, etc. I had a few choice words for her, but kept quiet, since I'm sure I would have gotten the 'do you want to fly today?' question if I opened my mouth.

Sat in 21E, but daughter in 22E was not happy. Those with toddlers can understand what can happen when you wake them up much much earlier than normal and stick 'em on an airplane! Plus, due to some recent family illnesses, she sometimes (and hopefully temporarily) gets nervous when she doesn't have both mom and dad within sight. As was the case that morning. She starts whining for papa, repeatedly. I do what I can to reach back, talk to her gently, etc., but there's only so much you can do from a middle seat! My wife and I are mortified at what a horrible flight this is going to be for ALL of us!

After about 10 minutes of this, the lady in 22F realizes this is a no-win situation for her, and very graciously offers to trade her seat with me. It was a lose-lose for her, a window with a potential crying child next to her for 4+ hours, or a (hopefully) quiet middle between 2 slightly larger than average-size men. I thanked her profusely, offered her drinks, breakfast, whatever she wanted for the duration of the flight! So again, we were finally able to sit together, but again no thanks to United. And our daughter finally settled down, and slept most of the flight, to everyone's relief!

After returning home, I called reservations to inquire what, if anything, was listed in their PNR that might help explain things. They told me there was nothing out of the ordinary in there, that all seat assignments were confirmed, and they didn't understand why there was any problem.

So, does anyone have ideas on what might have happened?

Plus, this is certainly a wake-up call for me, in the past when I've seen a family or group who are scattered about the airplane requesting seat trades, my immediate assumption was that they didn't plan ahead and were now inconveniencing others that did plan ahead (I haven't personally been asked to change seats myself, though). Having been on the other end of the situation now, I recognize now that in some cases, they may have been like me, planned ahead but suffered a United screw-up through no fault of their own, and were relying on the kindness of strangers.

And in my case, I didn't expect United to be able to do too much about the seating situation, if the flight's full, the flight's full. What I absolutely expected was that they would take steps on our behalf to ask pax to move and explain that it was a United error, not leave us to fend for ourselves and make people think that WE were being inconsiderate jerks by asking people to move.

It is for that reason that I'm sorely disappointed in United for this whole sorry episode.