CATMAN VANISHES: Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Galveston, and College Station Police are mystified at the disappearance of Catman and his accomplices.
It seems that Catman and crew were reportedly headed for Galveston or College Station, but no one has been able to spot them. It is suspected that the Traumatic Trio has ditched the extended cab pickup truck in favor of the "Rolls-Royce" of Texas, the Suburban.

Police are aware that today is Catman's birthday and they expect a HUGE BASH to be held somewhere in Texas. The Police are adamant about finding Catman before New Year's Day because the Police will all be tuned to the UT and Texas A&M Bowl games and will not have time to search for Catman.

Since Catman's worn and tattered Hawaiian shirt is still in Police possession in Dallas, they expect that the Birthday celebration will be there. Police do know that Catman last used his Amex Card to buy some Louis Vuitton luggage at their seconds store in the Clute, Texas Discount Mall.

United Airlines has volunteered information that Catman is booked on a flight out of DFW on 1/2/99. UA expects Catman to demand an upgrade and a special FC meal of Tuna and catnip. However, UA does not know if Catman will be dressed in "drag" or not. They say if he presents himself in "drag" they will upgrade the ticket on the spot and give triple miles for the flight back to EWR.

Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, has extended an invitation to Catman and his hosts to his owner's box for the Cowboys and Cardinals playoff game on Saturday. Jones is believed to have offered Catman a job in the Cowboy's organization as Director of Cowboy Cheerleader Personnel. Catman is reportedly intrigued. ###