Of all the premiums or giveaways I might be interested in, attending the "Teen Choice Awards" at the Universal CityWalk would slot in right below a free trephination session. Yet that's the offer in today's email...

"Dear Mr BearX220,

"Want to be the most popular parent on the block?

"HILTON HHONORS® WANTS TO PUT YOU IN THE AUDIENCE AT THE 2005 TEEN CHOICE AWARDS!

"WHAT YOU'LL SEE: Here's your chance to see today's biggest names in film, television, music, sports and fashion at The 2005 Teen Choice Awards. The show, held on August 14, 2005, at the Gibson Amphitheatre at Universal CityWalk, will feature live musical performances and more and will air Tuesday, August 16 at 8PM/7C on FOX..."

They have GOT to be kidding. I'm a 45-year-old man, and HHonors has no idea whether I have teens at home or not (I don't). This is such an incredibly off-target promotion.

Are they offering 12-year-old girls Cleveland putters and Briggs & Riley totes?