Originally Posted by dallardice
I'm travelling on business to India for the first time in a next week. The general etiquette guides talk about people there being open about family relationships, and welcoming open conversations about people's lives in order to understand them, e.g. "don't be surprised if you are asked why you are not married".
Now, as a gay man, in my travels to most countries I am open about my long-term relationship, and talk openly about my partner, using gender-specific pronouns. I'm sure it doesn't always go down well, but as a company we are non-discriminatory, and so I like to demonstrate that gay people can get on in our company.
However, India is so culturally different, that I'm not sure if my approach would cause too much offence, jeopardising my ability to work effectively with them. So should I just keep quiet and tell them I'm unmarried and leave it at that?
Observations from the team welcomed. If it's relevant, our office is in Gurgaon, outside Delhi.
It is true that Indians tend to get familiar far too quickly than a typical Westerner is comfortable with. It is not uncommon for two Indian families to meet and within 30 minutes know a good deal about one-another. It is a cultural thing, and in most instances it is well-intentioned. But I can see how it could be unnerving for a Westerner.
In professional settings, especially if you are part of a multinational company, the kind of Indians you will meet and interact with is far more likely to know the nuances of behaving with a Westerner. My sense is that if you are traveling on business you should do just fine. Outside of business, there is no reason for you to be coy either (assuming you are dealing with people from your company). Otherwise, I suggest that you simply refer to you partner as "partner."
There are, of course, homosexuals in India and homosexuality in India is very ancient. It is, however, practiced discreetly. Also - do not mistake two men holding hands and walking together for gays - this is a common behaviour in India among good male friends (something, in my opinion, the West has debased by associating any open displays of affection between men with homosexuality), without any sexual overtones.