i think you all are missing the fact that they are on the same PNR. yes, in theory you can tell CO that you don't want to upgrade. however, since bearX220 is travelling with someone who has no status, the defualt alone will keep EUA from processing.
my understanding is that EUA always defaults to the lowest status. for example, mrs duxfan and i have to be on seperate records now because i would default to her silver status, rather than get my plat upgrade. my understanding is that EUA will not split a record to upgrade, and will not automatically upgrade a companion.
bearX220, i don't think you'll have to do anything in order to wait til the airport and try for the upgrades.
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Bad Gordon!
No Freddie for you!