--Cell phone yappers--the cabin door is CLOSED, people! If you were THAT important, you wouldn't be flying commercial.

--Security newbies--yes, the S&M leather belt with the studs WILL set off the metal detector. Yes, you should put your possessions into the bin BEFORE you're first in line.

--Indecisive drinkers--It's an hour flight between HOU and DAL. Know what you want to drink BEFORE the FA has to ask. Do not ask for a recital of what beverages are carried. You're holding up my Happy Hour.