Here's the setup:

I was on a last minute flight from PHX to LAS. I did not notice until I was already past security that the flgiht number had four digits, meaning that this was not America Worst, it was America Worst Express, on one of their famous Canadair vomit comets.

On the vomit comet I found Steve the flight attendant, a very funny guy who had his preflight patter DOWN, and was funnier than most of the Leno monologues recently, and they are pretty damn funny!

We started taxiing and I found that the late afternoon usn was right in my eyes in seat 1B, so I put shade down. Steve said "Sir, we have to have that shade up for takeoff." I said "Steve, I am in no way arguing or refusing to obey a crewmember instruction, but I am really curious...why exactly do we need this window shade up? This windowshade cannot possibly effect the takeoff performance of this fine aircraft.

Steve said, "No, silly, that's in the unlikely event of an aborted takeoff, I have to be able to see out to tell which side of the airplane is safe to evacuate from."

I said, "Steve, in the unlikely event of an aborted takeoff, I will personally be doing all the evacuating ANY of us needs, right here in this seat!"

Steve said, "Oh, that's FUNNY! I'm going to use that!"

And that's the answer I was given. BTW, Steve should be an FA trainer. The man is not only hysterically funny, but very personable, a fabulous ambassador for his airline, and made the trip a real treat.

--Paul