Which theory didn't work? You cannot request an On-Departure Upgrade at the QP for an international flight, they are only permitted for domestic flights. For international flights you can waitlist for an upgrade using points or UC's. The QP desk won't upgrade people just because they want one, they will only do it if there is a need for operational purposes (eg full Y cabin and needing to sit a family/group together, or needing to squeeze extra pax on board due to missed connections or other flight cancellations/delays etc).

Glad to hear the wine is good.