We stayed at the Chedi a year ago and your concerns are valid. The property was very worn. The villas sound like a intriguing concept until you realize that they are small (very), creaky and not even close to being luxurious. If you are looking for luxury and comfortable accommodations, look elsewhere. Otherwise, the food was decent, the pool was lovely and the beach (Surin/Pansea) was the highlight - fantastic sand and water. If you don't want to consider hotels the next (big) step up (Amanpuri/Banyan Tree/Trisara), maybe check out one of the Laguna properties, Le Meridiens, or the JW? Unless money is no object, you might have to ratchet down your expectations and throw away pre-conceived notions that resorts in Asia offer a great bang for the buck - Phuket resorts are startlingly overpriced for what you get.

Thailand is amazingly gay-friendly. You'll love it.