Sorry, you have to take full responsibility for your behavior or you can not expect any recovery! It is my belief, that no one forced you to do anything, that you didn't want to do!
Now if you transfer your miles, I will be more then happy to help you break this outrageous behavior, and you will succeed by understanding what the driving force is. No need to feel ambivalence about what you are doing, if you continue to do it, over and over again! You will get more satisfaction from your travels!
1% of the population are ACTUALIZED and get satisfaction from their daily lives. There is NO reason, why you shouldn't be one of 1%!
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It is never too late to have a HAPPY CHILDHOOD!
BEEP! BEEP!