Here's a story from the summer of 2003 that was brought to mind by the latest lunacy with the UA flight that was expedited into ORD and the would-be terrorist with his MP3 player...

I am a radio and television broadcast engineer. As such. I sometimes have to travel with some uproariousy test equipment. I try to ship it ahead of time with insurance if I have advanced notice, but the last minute emergencies usually mean I am hauling it with me.

Becuase the airlines will not take responsibility for fragile or electronic items, and a $40,000 piece of test gear is not something they would insure anyway, it becomes carryon luggage. Enter Paul and the Spectrum Analyzer.

A spectrum analyzer is a sophisticated piece of test equipment that recieves all radio signals of any kind within a defined range of radio frequencies and displays them in real time on a screen. It shows up, I am told, like a computer on the X-ray machine screens. This usually gets it a second looksee, which I am happy to provide.

One day at ORD, the security screener told me that he had to take another look in its packed-full-of-wires carrying case and we took everything out at the sterile metal table. He took the main unit out and said "What's this?"
"It's a spectrum analyzer."
"What does it do?"
Deciding to go for the laugh, I said "It analyzes spectruym."
The TSA has no sense of humor that they are aware of.
"I'm sorry?"
I decided to expedite things by having them call over a Chicago police officer and his hand-held radio. I fired the analyzer up and set it for the entire range it can see. I asked the cop to key up his radio, that is, press the push to talk button and make it transmit. The radio's frequency popped up in the display for all to see.

The TSA screener was happy and released me. The Chicago cop, however, was noe demanding to know what business I had with such a device and even grumbled something about confiscating it for its ability to "illegally" recieve police transmissions.

Fast forward to late last year, going through the same checkpoint at the same airport, different screener.

"What's this?"
"It's a spectrum analyzer."
"What does it do?"
"It analyzes spectrum."
The TSA apparently did not grow a sense of humor in the 18 months since the last episode.
"Can you please explain what that means?"
I went into my long drawn-out explanation.
"And exactly what business do you have with this equipkment?"
That's when I lost it.
"You job is not to question what equipment I choose to use to do my job. Your job is to determine if what I am bringing on board presents a threat to air travel. Since we have already determined that this equipment isn't explosive, contains no harmful chemicals, and is completely inert, your job is done. Mind your own business and do your job. Do I need to discuss this with your supervisor?"

He gave me a deer-in-the-headlights stare and cleared me to proceed to my gate.

From the trenches,

--Paul