Jon Toner:

I'm dying laughing - 1999 Christmas Card!

I'd have to agree with you about CO's upgrade policy - I think it is the best in the Country. On UA even as a 1K I have to use certs, many times they won't collect them at your home airport if you know them, however they are not automatic like CO. If I lived in a CO market (IAH, CLE, EWR) I'd fly them exclusively.