Couple of points.
1. Isn't the OWE now limited to 20 segments?
2. I think you have too many segments in Europe, North America, and Australia. You're limited to 4 segments in each continent except for NA, which you get 6. Your intercontinental segments do not count toward the 4/6 in each continent.
3. It would be better for you to do LHR-LAX and JFK-SYD for those intercontinental segments. LHR-LAX is about 5500 miles and JFK-SYD on QF108 is about 10k miles. You must book QF108 in order for it not to count toward your segments in the US.
4. Add a transcon LAX/SFO/SAN/SEA/etc. - JFK/BOS/MIA/IAD/etc.
5. Rather than hopping around europe on shorthauls, do a LHR-DXB return.
6. This thread should probably go in the oneworld forum, as there are far more experienced people than I in there who can scour your itinerary.
Good luck, and most of all, have fun! ^