These are some things that I LEARNED and that OTHERS LEARNED.

For the sake of saving face, saving grace and saving myself, WHO learned WHAT is not necessarily in this post. (If you read all the other posts in all the other forums you can probably figure these out. That, or just come to the Palm Springs Gayla III, 2006 and be IN on the KNOW. So let’s get to it, as these CAPS are starting to IRRITATE me.

-Prince Albert is NOT in a can.
(That one just needed to be said first. )

-Wireless was in the can.
(We have pics! Does he know that?).

-I do not know how to spell bougainviellia.

-Most FlyerTalkers can be pretty generous.

-Randy Petersen can impress a crowd from 1000 miles away! Albeit with a personal, handwritten note and some Official FlyerTalk gifts. (Thank you, Randy!)

-InnExile is prettier at night and at night, maybe, you can’t see the stains on the carpet.
-DO NOT bring a blacklight. You will not sleep. “But it's so dark there, you can’t SEE anything at night!" (**Sigh** ... that’ s the point!) “And besides, there wasn’t even a bottle of wine in the room waiting for me!”

-SNA is a really cute airport. Like, 6 gates.

-You can drive 80mph from SNA to Palm Springs. And vice versa.

-If your watch stops and you don’t know it, you can make it to SNA in 1 hour and 15 minutes.

-If your new, handsome, very good friend is not done packing and you are leaving the hotel when he should have already left, ask him, “Did your watch stop”?-

-If you are seated next to your new, handsome, very good friend at dinner, check your seat to see if he has spilled anything on it.

-For tips on dating, PM dhammer53 if you would like your head pushed into very big boobs and it does not matter if the boobs are on a man.

-For tips on dating, PM rbernheim if you would like to bring two gorgeous females. (They were very much not men.) You can still have your head pushed into big boobs...but they will be the fake boobs on a man, not the gorgeous ladies' boobs and just not as much pushing of face and head as dhammer53 got.

-For tips on dating, PM kudzu if you want to stay away from boobs but pecs are OK. Very, very nice pecs.

-For tips on dating, do not PM me.

-To ride in a hot, hot car, you have to be nice to lisamcgu.

-lisamcgu know what she wants and how to get it. She is a smart, strong woman and woe to the waiter that crosses her!
Or the “Oh-I've never-been-a-waiter ... I-am-just-helping-out-my-friends-for-brunch” waiter in our case.

-olafman should always wear muscle shirts. Trust us on this one.

-jockdAAddy’s handle is not "jockdAAddy" because he is a jock.

-jockdAAddy is really funny when he is drunk.

-bluesincenew has never posted on FT.

-StSebastian, bluesincenew’s husband makes up for bluesincenew’s lack of posting. He will soon be an Evangelist.

-StSebastian is really smart.

-GLBT FTers: These people are really good looking.

-These people can DRINK.

-Grey Goose is too expensive to serve this group.

-Ralph’s Supermarket sells Ketel One until closing.

-peteropny knows where Ralph's Supermarket is.

-Ralph's Supermarket thinks peteropny is a lush.

-GLBT FTers will drink lemon drops before they drink tequila shots.

-The butch-er the guy, the more apple-tinis they will drink.

-lisamcgu could renamed lemondropmcgu.

-Str8 guys drink chocolate martinis.

-jockdAAddy likes chocolate martinis.

-jockdAAddy is not srt8.

-The Villa’s martini glasses are waaaaaay too big.

-Bougainviella has prickers.

-Cacti has prickers.

-Gay thrift stores have all sorts of pretty decorations.

-Salmon on blue tortillas with a touch of creme fraiche and cilantro is not a good h’ors d’ouvre. People do not like it, regardless of whether the Ritz-Carlton serves it.

-People like chips.

-People like CHPs.

-People get tired of Ritz-Carlton stories.

-If you are the host, people will listen to your stories and act like they like them.

-Apparently, you can smuggle a joint through the TSA but you cannot, after April, smuggle a lighter through the TSA.

-A joint and a lighter, wrapped in a gold box and tied with a gold ribbon, and sitting on the gift swap table, looks just like a Nordstrom's gift, except that it does not say “Nordstrom’s” on it.

-There is no Nordstrom’s in Palm Springs, anyway.

-The more expensive a “swap gift”, the more someone will try and get back their own gift.

-Always have lisamcgu and Aluminum tubing at your “swap gift” parties.

-$100 would have won the swap gift “best prize” prize. (Hint, hint for next year).

-Some FTers will put on a dress, heels and make-up but they won’t put on a kimono...they would rather donate it as a swap gift.

-FTers really like kimonos.

-FTers really like money as a gift.

-FTers who don’t live in the south don’t appreciate Krispy Kreme Coupons.

-Lynn loves h’ors d’ouvres.

-Jackie loves h’ors d’ouvres.

-rbernheim loves Lynn and Jackie.

-Lynn and Jackie love me.

-I need to have h’ors d’ouvres at next year’s dinner. :P

-The Red Tomato does not have a stage.

-Aluminum tubing is industry”code” for working in an airplane/on an airline.

-F/A’s are more likely than pax to be in the mile high club.

-3 people can fit in most airplane lavs.

-If you have a charming scottish brogue you can get away with almost anything...like staring at the backs of guy's chaps ALL NIGHT LONG. (And we don't mean the chaps)

-Some Scots have not been to the leather bars in AMS.

-RyanAir or EasyJet must fly to AMS from EDI. Maybe via some backroom somewhere.

-The Barracks does not have a backroom but later they don't need one as it gets pretty dark. Or ugly dark as the case may be. Sort of like the bars in AMS... which you can get to from EDI.

-If you sit in a sauna at All Worlds you will meet muscle boyz. Probably 3 times.

-If you leave the restaurant with your group you should leave via the same door.

-Meeting muscle boyz in the sauna might make up for getting yelled at for leaving via a wrong door.

-2 gauge is about this big: (----)

-What dfwoods learned: “yes and 2 gauge”.

-F on a 747 is better than F on a 777.

-Non FTers like winning amenity kits as they never get them otherwise.

-Good drag queens are expensive.

-Large, good drag queens are really, really expensive.

-You get what you pay for.

-GLBT FTers know the words to a lot of drag queen songs.

-dhammer53 and rbernheim know the words to a lot of drag queen songs.

-Some FTers sing better than others.

-Ask ahead of time for a good waiter. Tip him/her ahead of time. If said waiter asks, “What’s THAT for?”, they are not a good waiter.

-A box of candles weighs 38#.

-Regardless of what the UA Prem Exec benefits website says, GA’s in BWI will not let you have more than 50# luggage.

-If you bring a copy of the Prem Exec Benefits Website Page with you, a UA GA will not look at it.

-Dollar Rent A Car has no grace period. Even in PHX.

-missydarlin does NOT live in Alaska.

-peteropny will drop whatever he is doing and help and never, never complain. Well, almost.

-They were right, dfwoods is a doll.

-There is a vinyl LP record album that exists titled, “I Love Paris”.

-Thrift stores in Palm Springs sell vinyl LPs.

-LP album covers from the 50’s make great “Martini Party” decorations.

-If the Martini Party decorations have your friend’s FT handle on it you get points.

-Vinyl LP album covers do not have prickers like bougainveilla does and therefore are easier to decorate with.

-Foady and umguy can burn a mean dance CD.

-The queens in bungalow 64 do not appreciate mean dance CD’s.

-sftrvlr is the reason we had the Martini Party. It is his legacy, now. (He posted it as a suggestion/joke a hundred years ago.)

-sftrvlr is famous for mixing martinis in the Castro, SF.

-There are enough SFO based GLBT FTers that one of them can hostess a Gayla there.

-Do not let drunken str8 women crash your party unless they contribute to the “kitty”.

-Drunken str8 women like to sleep on beds of river rock. Because they (the rocks) are soooooo comfortable.

-Viajero Joven is the ideal FTer roomate.

-If your roomate snores, setting the A/C unit on “FAN” drowns out the snoring.

-You don’t have to set the A/C unit on “FAN” if your roomate does not come in until 10am the next morning.

-Some FTErs will leave you presents on your doorstep if you are a funny, sweet, hot, str8 woman with nice boobs.

-This will not happen to you EVEN IF YOU ARE THE HOST. But you will read about it in some random post and have your heart broken.

-LA does not have outhouses.

-Barns do not have toliets.

-People do not sleep in barns. COWS sleep in barns.

-If you make 3am phone calls, you must expect 8am retribution phone calls even if you did not get to bed because you were hottubbing until 5am.

-Kyushu is a small island off the coast of Japan

-kyushuman is not short for Kentucky USA Human.

-If you guess people’s handle wrong they will never leave gift bags on your door step.

-Most jewelry can be removed easier with a little spit.

-Most jewelry is a little warm to the touch when removed.

-Most jewelry has no flavor. Well, maybe a small metallic flavor.

-Man-made fire logs have something in them that is sort of sticky and really burns and sticks to you when the logs burn. But they do not have prickers like bougainviella.

-Guys from Connecticut tan really easy.

-Even cuties can be shy.

-Hugo is a pretty name.

-Some cute boys just need to come to town a day earlier, stay at The Villa and have Martinis!

-Tanned boys from LA would be redundant if they weren’t so cute, cute, cute.

-You can flirt with your friend’s bf if you DON'T REALIZE he is your friend’s bf because you are scatter-brained and your friend talks in code a lot that everyone else seems to understand but you. If you do know the cute guy is your friend’s bf, then stop. But, if, now the cute bf thinks it was all an innocent game and is now flirting back, you are going to be very embarrassed.

-Even though you might put your foot in your mouth(or WHATEVER), flirt with the wrong guy, spill things and forget to put the sour in the apple-tinis sometimes, your friends will still be your friends. FlyerTalk is about miles, but is about Miles and Community, most of all.

This is what I learned, others learned and you can learn from: The Palm Springs Gayla II, 2005.

Joe