There are a few things that can made Ted slightly better. To wit:

1. Strict enforcement of E+. If you're not a 2P or higher and the plane is not filled to the gills, there should be no newly minted flyers in 1A.

2. One free überbeverage for 1P/1K. This could be printed out on extra stock when you get your ticket. It would make up for the half can policy.

3. Enforced blocking on middle seats for elites. These should be the last seats to go.

4. Better priority boarding schema. As much as I hate to do this to the 1P/2Ps, but Seating 1 should be UGS/1K, Seating 2 1P/2P and then from the back of the plane forward. It's time for UA to admit that there are too many elites to do them all in one bunch, particularly when the UGS and 2P are fighting in the pseudoline that always forms.

5. Stay out of Row 11. That's mine, damn it. Rar.

timothy