Once again, I feel myself compelled to inform the previously non-conversant public of the incredible degradation that my dignity had to endure upon my latest American Airlines flight. Firstly my privacy was violated by a rather forceful and over enthusiastic TSA official, whom seemed intent on touching me in every place possible. I realise that Americans are paranoid but this is just obsessive perversion. After I had composed myself, by way of a few G&T’s in the Flagship Lounge I was ready to board American Airlines flight 100 departing at 6:30pm.

After a rather pleasant boarding ceremony, complete with the forced smile of the constipated air hostess, whom looked like she had just had a rather large spiky object inserted into her behind, probably by someone whom was irritated by her unconvincing smile.

I was slightly aggrieved that I had to find my seat [3J] on my own accord and was not ushered. This 777 aircraft had the latest in American Airlines first class seat design according to my travel agent. I was suitably unimpressed when comparing this suite to my recent flights on SQ, BA, QF. There were used peanuts down the sides of the seat. Evidently the cleaners had overlooked the first class cabin. Jealously probably had something to do with it, and if I had my way they would be evicted from their cardboard box.

The service was relatively good, when I tried to tip them with my American Express Titanium Centurion card I was informed that they only took cash. As I only carry about $5,000 of small change in my Louis Vuitton Luggage, which was now stowed in the closet. I requested the airhostess to retrieve it for me [I had in mind to give her a fairly large tip] she declined, so I demanded her immediate resignation; as she she did not comply I reminded her that I indirectly pay her wages. I also told her I was on quite good terms with the VP of HR, which is to say I supply him with cashflow to comply with my requests. As a AAdvantage Executive Platinum member, it was clearly her taking AAdvantage of I.

Twice in the duration of the flight was work interrupted, by persons in the adjacent seats moving. I don’t mean only getting up to use the poorly kept lav, his constant squirming as though he could not get comfortable in his own skin. I offered joking to remove it for him. He swore at me, saying I was interrupting his “ Meditation”. I then snapped back that he was interrupting my work.

Later during the flight I snuck a glance at the manifest in the Galley, turns out this pax was a AA EXP member, like myself. I am totally disgusted at this, my one way fare was $6375.60 and I feel others in the cabin did not pay as much as I. This of course makes them less worthy to occupy the cabin.

Overall the flight was of poor quality excluding of course the beverages which I had my staff pack for me to consume.