I saw the title and thought it was about fear of flying. As I went through your post, I was wondering whether it was a wind-up. However, what I am uncertain about is quite the purpose of your post. It is a bit like an A level paper - all it lacks if the word "Discuss".

I do understand what you feel - what I cannot do is know what we can do to help you. We cannot change your mind but all I will say is that flying can be stressful indeed - it can also be most enjoyable. I have met the most pleasant people - some of whom are now among my friends. I have also met horror stories. In short I am a "glass half full" person - maybe you are not. Whatever, BA is not the airline that it was 25 years ago - this much is true. For better or for worse.