i very happily take your word for it but whilst you know that, my question is - how are they supposed to know? I mean I’m sure many people are as well-intentioned as you, but equally, we know from other threads that many people who do bring gifts along are not and expect something in return.

In some of those cases discussed recently, the “something” can be pretty obvious (“I have my wife down the back” etc) in others it may not be but, for instance, a crew member may feel awkward telling someone who gave them a box of chocolates or a gift card “I’m sorry, but your choice of meal is not available” even if service protocol means they should really give it to someone else. I think it’s great to act in good faith, but in an imperfect world, it’s a bit too much to ask people who don’t know us to assume that we are when we all know this is by far not the case of everyone, not even the case of everyone “nice”.