Just to close the loop on this, After the intervention of the Marriott Bonvoy Lurker and further discussions with the hotel, including submitting phone records that I had indeed called, they eventually decided to refund the no-show fee. AA customer service offered 10K miles for the diversion and delay (in addition to covering my hotel in PHX). So I'm happy with the resolutions.
The most interesting thing for me was understanding the insurance limitations for Chase Sapphire Reserve and their distinction between weather and mechanical delays for a no-show. I had always assumed that I was covered for whatever reason but that is not the case. They would have covered my hotel in PHX if AA had decided not too as part of trip delay insurance but nothing for the hotel in Orlando under trip interruption insurance because it wasn't part of a prepaid package nor was it weather. Reading the limitations and exceptions are interesting.