I have a lot of experience on both and I'd say your experience wasn't normal for AA. These days since I no longer have UA status, I will ONLY fly up front when I need to fly UA. I think my average AA and UA Domestic First / Regional Business has been extremely similar for the past 4 years (when I lost my UA status). Neither has been notably bad or lesser than the other.

Row 1 is typically pretty terrible for legroom on any airline's domestic product, AA definitely isn't good, but don't think it's significantly worse than DL or UA. I do remember a time when CO had a cutout in row 1 on some planes to make it more bearable for longer legged people but haven't seen that since.

It's very rare that AA FA's aren't trying to get you smashed with proactive doubles and refills. Sorry for that on your flight, sounds like you did get an exceptionally lazy crew, but I've had that on UA as well. (It is technically illegal in the US to self serve from your carryon, but not sure if it's really enforced unless you were actually cut-off prior to it)

Typically wine is offered during the meal in addition to any drink you happen to have on the table at the time. Again, sorry you didn't get offered, but it's always ok to ask.