(Humour alert).

Comedic sanity check (just in case there are self effacing IQ sparked folk left on this website).

A self styled "bleeding edge " and self anointed and self aggrandising "journalist" (seemingly unqualified as such) writes a review on a website (which may or may not itself be comedic, it's not clear), which was founded by a self declared and summarily announced as such "respected aviation journalist", astutely brought to our attention by a .... stirrer on FlyerTalk. Pass me the popcorn. What could possibly go wrong, especially when it invokes the predictable idiotopes about BA that feed the bleeting sheep of Flyertalk, who love to bleet on Flyertalk about the idiotypes of BA first in a self serving and self validating circle of self herding cooperative validation. Oh yeah - it's remarkable that there is still a Flyertalk, despite the sort of irrelevant drivel triggered by the OP's thread. Amazing. Maybe not, because, sheep.

Of course, I don't think we should judge the original reviewer based on the bright colour of his / her / its hair (a more worthy and strident social statement than any ex-PM of the UK stealing the reviewer's his / her / its seating allocation on an aircraft with only 8 first class seats without a care for the welfare of a certain globally relevant travel writer, forcing the ignominy and suffrage of 2A instead of 1A onto the aforesaid globally relevant travel writer) , even when said ex-PM of the UK is potentially an even more arrogant and self entitled whiner than the globally relevant travel writer). Cue the G&Ts to stymie the intolerance of misshapen amenity bags from brands that offend the affluent status anxiety of the writer. Oh the inconvenience of zip ties that ensure that the amenity bag is unsullied and not inadvertently recycled with incomplete contents.

No, salve me con pietatis. Failing to smooth over a crippled head rest cover is the epitome of bad serfdom from the milling mob of the ungrateful working classes that infest the cabin crew on BA.

I've obviously been approaching my BA first flight cabin crews all wrong. Whereas I've treated them all warmly with a wry smile upon boarding the aircraft only to endure their insufferable excellent service, I should have strode onto the aircraft with all of the bad attitude of a self important travel scribe determined to find fault to engender click bait on his / her / its next online article.

Obviously, when I've been offered the cheap champagne on other airlines, such as QF and EK first to save tax dollars (although it wasn't even the multi award winning "acidic" rainwater from the sewers of Hampshire) , I should have said, no worries, because their brand perception escapes the blow torch of self promoting travel writers, who would be naturally disbelieving that on all of may BA first flights I been respectfully served the Laurent Perrier Grand Siecle before departure (yes, relax folks, I know that's changing).

Obviously, when I've been nice and jokey with the crew, I've also done the wrong thing. Robots have limited senses of humour, and you don't push your luck with a Turing test on board with a little bitty morsel of cockney wisecrack, right?

Obviously, I have no taste in glassware, given that BA first uses a locally produced British product and not a stumpy crystal blown by satanic mill pandas from a sweat shop in China.

Obviously, I have no taste in for beef wellington partnered with fine French wine. Hint - delicious. Or the Kobe beef I've enjoyed out of Tokyo on BA first. Hint - luscious. The overly attentive crew on many flights. Hint - hard working and customer focused to a fault. Or the private messages and signed navigation maps sent from the fight deck. Hint - customer focused.

Oh, and by the way, there are newly configured 777s on the route reviewed. Strange that the reviewer and the bleeding sheep of Flyertalk judge Qatar on Q Suites, but not BA on their newer product. Deliciously hypocritical. Redeem Avios for Q Suites in gushing genuflection, but suffer the self imposed choice of choosing an older BA product.



















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