Thanks everyone. I've looked at most of these options, and they are great. Some thoughts...

- Cuixmala is the closest in terms of what I'm looking for, but maybe a bit "glossy". I wish it was a tiny bit easier to access.
- Alamandas seems nice, but I wouldn't say luxury or even relaxed luxury. However, the location seems great.
- Xcaret is on the eastern shore, but a good option. There's others in that area that I'd consider as well, but was hoping to stay west. I also looked at the Chable properties and Boca de Agua, as well as others.
- Maybe I'll consider the FS Tamarindo again. I usually enjoy Four Seasons, but at resorts, even when there's an adult only facility, it is, as you say, family oriented.
- I looked at One and Only, but didn't consider the treehouses. Thanks for that rec.

One thing I liked about Verana, and there's things I wish were different too, is that it's off the beaten path - a taxi, to a boat, to a hike up a mountain. There's very few rooms. and it all feels very private. I assumed there'd be other things like it, but perhaps there aren't.

Anyone have any recommendations in the Oaxaca area?

Thank you all so much for the help! It's great to read everyone's preferences, how there's so many options to cater to different taste, while we all share a love for travel.