After a multi-night stay here over Christmas, I was left disappointed and underwhelmed. There is nothing impressive about this hotel.

Things did start off well, but went downhill from there. I was warmly greeted by the night manager at check-in after midnight. He turned out to be one of only two staff members I ever saw smile throughout my stay. The suite upgrade award I'd applied weeks ago was not honoured, something I only found out when I got into my room about 2.30pm. I phoned the front desk, the night manager tapped away and could indeed see I should have been in a suite. Too bad now, though, as they were all sold out. He said he would speak with the manager during daylight and someone would be in touch. No one ever was. Waiting in the room were three apples ad three macaroons, plus I was given a voucher for a single drink at the bar. I found it interesting that the room includes a little door hangar (like a typical DND sign) where you get to note room defects and faults.

The iron in the room is one of those crappy single temperature things that you'd expect in some rundown motel in the middle of nowhere. When I asked to borrow a proper steam iron, I was told the hotel doesn't have any. A manager did, however, have a couple of my shirts ironed without charging me an extortionate price. Laundering a pair of underwear, for example, would set you back the Park Hyatt-style price of CZK170 (almost EUR7). My room had both a standalone shower and a shower/tub combo. The standalone had very poor drainage to the point it really wasn't usable. My first shower, at 2.30am in the morning, was with lukewarm water at best. The bath towels were small and of low quality and they were changed after the first night, despite them being on the towel rail and the hotel's feelgood greenwashing sign. The refrigerator barely cooled drinks and when I asked for a small bucket of ice from the hotel bar, it was served in a plastic bag.

Breakfast was above average with a particularly nice selection of meats and cheeses. Glasses for cold (or should I say room temp) drinks were about twice the size of a shot glass. There were no made to order options. On Christmas Day, the hostess said simply, "May I have your room number, please?" No "Merry Christmas" or the like.

On Christmas Eve, I attempted to order room service, only to be told it was buffet in the restaurant only, despite the QR menu accessible from the room giving no information about that. The duty manager suggested I order Uber Eats for dinner.

The sauna was very nice and always very hot. The fitness room or whatever they call it was a crappy multiuse machine and what looked like it was probably one of the first treadmills ever made.

There are five world clocks in the lobby, two of which were stopped for the entire duration of my stay which I thought was an appropriate metaphor. The ubiquitous fake flowers throughout the hotel sets the scene: it feels well stuck in the 1970s and can barely be considered a three-star.

I took a Bolt from the airport and it was CZK380. Back to the airport, it was CZK285.