I'm baffled why this would raise to the level of holding the ID close to a persons face - I wasn't there but from the description this sounds needlessly aggressive.

Typically when walking up to a hotel check-in I have my credit card and passport / DL in hand, and I hand them over while saying 'hello I'd like to check in please.' Never even considered refusing to hand it over, and also never (to my knowledge) faced a negative consequence from a Marriott front desk clerk looking at my ID.