The person relented on my entry in the end as I pointed out my ticket showed *G, I was a bit flustered and never thought to look at my or my wifes app in a partner lounge tbh.

My wife showed her physical Elite partner card and I tried to show the person on the desk the Air NZ website saying what the entry allowance was but she was quite rude and cut me off multiple times stating "That means nothing, this is a star Alliance lounge". We had a young child, we weren't exactly dressed up, I wonder if this didn't help my cause but also know full well none of that should matter. I was going to let it go and move on but I have decided to send feedback to Air NZ now more as an FYI than anything.

Funnily enough I have used that lounge before taking my wife as a guest when I was G so I kind of took access for granted this trip.