"While anyone with any sense is in a bar/cafe enjoying themselves."

Longtail - if you think being in a bar or cafe any any airport is enjoying yourself, I commend you for being so easily pleased.

Personally I like to board as early as possible to avoid the frustration of having my bag in an overhead bin much further back from my seat. I know this doesn't bother many people, but to say people board early to "impress" is just plan silly. Its purely a matter of personal preference. Everyone is different.