I'm really sorry, I need to get around to writing up my banking experience. I will do it soon, I promise.

If you do not live in China (i.e. you are visiting for tourism/short term business, do NOT have a residence permit):

If you are coming for a one time visit (maximum 10,000 CNY in 180 day period):

1. Download AliPay from the App Store
2. In the search box at the top, type "TourCard"
3. Verify your information and load money onto it. You will be charged a 5% fee for adding money. If the money is not used fully after 180 days, it will be refunded to your card. The current limit is 10,000 CNY. If you want to top up more than that, you can cancel the card after it expires and reopen a new card. The remaining amount of chargeable balance (max 10,000 CNY) will not be reset if you apply for a refund. My understanding is that since this is linked to your passport, if you need more than 10,000 CNY, you have to use another solution. Restrictions: You cannot transfer money to another account. Does not support wealth management, red envelope, etc.

If you are coming for multiple visits:

1. Go to a China Mobile or China Unicom store and get a cell phone number (estimated time 2.5 hours). Ideally go to the largest branch with most representatives as they will have the best chance of figuring it out. All you need is your passport and cash to pay the initial deposit (I brought Y200). Tourist visa is fine. You want to open this in the area that you will spend the most time in, as they may give you data locked to your province. I am paying Y40 for 12GB data (you need to keep the plan active in some form, even when you are outside of China). More details in https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/35217727-post24.html
2. Open a new AliPay account (even if you have an existing one) because your old one could be in a weird state.
3. Verify your passport with AliPay. Use your Chinese (+86) phone number, not a foreign phone number. Many apps act differently if you use foreign phone numbers.
4. Your account should be fully active and you can have your friend top up your balance on AliPay and pay with the balance.
5. Add a Visa, MasterCard, Diners Club or Discover card to your account. For small purchases you can pay with your foreign credit card with no fee. A purchase of Y271 triggered a 3% fee.

Currently I do not recommend opening a bank account. Even through all the hassle I went through, it still isn't working and I'm waiting a month for them to send a new debit card to my US address.
Of course, if you live in China and have a residence permit, open a bank account and disregard all of the above.