After a wonderful week in Egypt, it was time for three weeks with my family in South Africa. Once again I will be flying via Doha. American Airlines offers great redemption rates on Qatar so when matched with their Qsuite, food, and service, it’s hard to find a better option. Back to Doha I go!
FLIGHT #12 OF THE SABBATICAL
Qatar Airways #1324, A320, FIRST CLASS Fully Flat
DEPARTURE: Cairo, Egypt (CAI) 13:45
ARRIVAL: Doha, Qatar (DOH) 17:30
DURATION: 3h15
I was now a pro at traveling through chaotic airports. Just like when I arrived in Egypt, I was traveling regional First Class on Qatar using their two class planes. I was originally scheduled on a nice B777-300 for my return trip but the Qatar plane swap game downgraded it to a tiny A320. Sometimes you win with Qatar and sometimes you lose. The check-in at the First Class single desk took a while as the family in front of me had many extra bags. And they didn’t want to pay any excess fees. Finally an Economy agent helped me out after about ten minutes of waiting. They even printed my First and Business class boarding passes out on the correct card stock! My bag was all properly tagged and everything worked! Qatar First uses the Ahlein Premium Lounge. I was escorted to the innermost area which I could see had better food offerings than the outside area of the lounge. I made a nice plate of local food including some chicken stew and beef stew. Overall all, it was a perfectly fine lounge but not one that I would come to the airport early for.
Regional First Class on Qatar Airways from Cairo to Doha
I knew that once I got to Doha, I would have their wonderful Al Mourjan Business Lounge waiting for me. I had done some research wondering if I might be allowed to use their First Class lounge since I was arriving in First Class. But even their own website that I would need to arrive on a long haul First Class ticket, not regional, to use the First Class lounge. I had a 9 hour layover and unfortunately the transit area hotel had been sold out for months. But their business lounge has several quiet areas for me to relax in. And at least it wasn’t a bus station in Africa.
As I boarded my tiny, single aisle aircraft, I was happily surprised that this plane had fully flat seats up front! They were sort of like what AA and UA use on their single aisle trancons. They were much better than I expected and I even had the seat next to me vacant which made it all the better. First Class was only 50% full so it should be a pleasant flight.
I was greeted with a nice glass of champers which I wasn’t sure was going to happen in this Muslim country. I love QR’s rosé champers to celebrate the start of a good flight. I also accepted their offer of Arabic coffee. It’s a really flavorful version of coffee with additional spices to give it a Middle Eastern flair. I enjoyed seeing all the EgyptAir planes as we taxied out to take off.
Flat seats on a A321 Qatar First Class
Once in the air, I continued with the same champagne and some warm nuts. So far regional First has exactly the same catering as their Business long haul. But both are outstanding. I also like that Qatar offers bread that is made from three different doughs. They are all delicious. For lunch today, I had a nice chickpea soup, grilled spiced prawns seared scallops, braised beef cheeks, and my usual cheese plate. The flight attendant was super friendly and said that today’s flight featured her favorite dessert, a dark chocolate Pot de Creme. She insisted that I try it too. While not a sweets person, it was pleasantly deep with flavor without lots of sugar. Great recommendation.
A great meal on a three hour hop to Doha
Stuffed from another great meal, I fully reclined my seat and napped until I was being asked to prepare for landing. I was wishing the flight was a little longer since I was comfortable and had a nine hour layover ahead.
We lost today’s spin of the DOHA gate roulette wheel and thus we parked in the middle of nowhere, far from the terminals. The good news was that they had a very fancy First Class shuttle bus for the six of us in front. It was definitely nicer than the business class buses. Go Qatar Airlines!
Being a true Flyertalker, I decided to go to the Al Safwa First Class Lounge and try to enter knowing that most probably I would be redirected to the business lounge. The lounge agent asked to see both of my boarding passes and then welcomed me into the First Class Lounge!!! The best part of this is that they have day hotel style rooms for passengers with more than eight hour layovers. That’s me!
Since no food or drinks are allowed in the day rooms, I decided to celebrate my unexpected arrival back at Al Safwa with a Grey Goose martini at the glamorous central bar before checking into my day room. Cheers. Here’s to an amazing year so far. I was so grateful for this amazing opportunity once again.
Back at the Al Safwa First Class lounge
The day rooms were basic but dim and quiet. I took a nice shower and then climbed into bed for a two hour nap. Life as an international playboy can be tiring at times. Once I climbed into bed, I noticed that the front entry hall light doesn’t turn off! I popped my head out into the hall and asked the attendant and they confirmed it doesn’t turn off. I guess they don’t want you sleeping too soundly.
Luckily as a seasoned traveler, I always carry a pack of deep blue Post-Its which I use in hotel rooms around the world to cover all the ambient lights. I cleverly
used about ten of them to mostly block the hall light and sleep came soon. Very few First Class lounges in the world offer this day room feature. SWISS has two day rooms but you’re lucky if they’re available.
Al Safwa First Class lounge Day Room
After I woke, I caught up on two episodes of RuPaul’s DragRace. I had been too busy to keep up and I hate seeing spoilers on Instagram. It felt luxurious to be tucked in bed quietly relaxing inside this huge airport.
Finally it had been hours, if not minutes since my last meal. The Al Safwa restaurant was calling me. It was time to say goodbye to my little oasis and return to the public. I had spent a nice four hours inside my personal day room. I remember a time limit for using the rooms but it was more than four hours.
Once seated in the restaurant, I chose a nice table on the banquet near the window. It was dark now but I could see the occasional plane go by. For dinner, I started with the traditional Arabic mezze, then had some salmon cakes followed by breaded beef filet. I finished with a nice cheese platter and the waiter pushed me to get the creme brûlée. This was my second dessert of the day! It had been months since I had eaten any dessert.
A great dinner at the Al Safwa lounge
Here is a link to the current offerings at the restaurant:
https://www.qatarairways.com/content...-dining-en.pdf
After this amazing meal, I just sat there writing and enjoying the amazing red wine, Château Ducru-Beaucaillou Cabernet Sauvignon 2008, Merlot, France. The waiter kept coming by and offering more. I wasn’t going anywhere, nor was I flying the plane, so I kept saying yes. It was so good. It’s not everyday that I enjoyed an endless supply of $300 a bottle wine! My writing does need a bit more editing after drinking several glasses of wine but the experience is wonderful.
FLIGHT #13 OF THE SABBATICAL
Qatar Airways #1363, B777-300, BUSINESS Qsuites
DEPARTURE: Doha, Qatar (DOH) 02:30
ARRIVAL: Johannesburg, South Africa (JNB) 09:55
DURATION: 8h25
My flight to Joburg left at 2:30 am. They had two other flights to choose from but I hate arriving in Joburg during the middle of the night. My family doesn’t like picking me up in off hours. I try to pick flights that land midday to also avoid Joburg traffic. Often to South Africa, I have often gotten Qatar’s old herribone business seats. Today I ended up with Qsuites! Hoorah! I decided to sleep first during the flight to get on local time. I sure didn’t need to eat right away! I slept like a baby and woke up over my old home of Malawi! I put up my window shade and looked longingly at the Warm Heart of Africa. The flight attendants saw when I was awake and instantly began offering me food and drinks. I had a cold plate of cheese and meats and then a tomato and onion omelet with grilled chicken sausage. Both tasted good after my long sleep.
Qsuites on my way down to JNB
Qatar Airlines has a great business class product. The Qsuite is industry leading. Their food and service are also some of the best in the sky for business class. International First class food and service is still a level above on many airlines. Last Christmas, Terry, Corbin and I flew SWISS First SFO-ZRH-JNB and it’s really hard to beat that to South Africa. But Qatar is probably my favorite choice using miles these days to go home to South Africa as it’s often a bargain.
FLASHBACK PHOTO: Nothing beats SWISS First SFO-ZRH-JNB to go home for Christmas
After starting month four of my Sabbatical with a bucket list week in Egypt, I would be spending the rest of the month with my family in South Africa. Sometimes I refer to them as my second family which doesn’t clarify things much either. My best friend’s family is German but they have lived in South Africa for many decades. I have always had a wonderful connection with Robert’s mother, father, and sister. Without a doubt, after my mom died young of brain cancer, Robert’s mom, Resi, and I became super close. Then his father died. Then mine died. I often morbidly joke that I have killed off two sets of parents. It helps me deal with the pain of not having these four important people in my life. Resi not only got to meet Corbin when he was just four months old, she got to see him grow up along with her other two grandsons that were born just six weeks before Corbin.
Robert’s parents lived in Johannesburg and our sister and her family always lived next door. While Robert was based for a few years in Joburg, he has long been a Cape Townian. This all means that when I visit I must go to both Joburg and Cape Town to see everyone. My guess is that over the years, I have visited over 50 times. It is truly a second home.
For many years, I would look forward to the warm welcome and hug I would receive as I walked in Resi’s house. Regardless of the time of day, and most of the overseas flights arrive in the morning, she would have a bottle of champagne chilled waiting to be immediately opened to celebrate. It is a wonderful tradition that I carry on in her memory anytime far away friends visit.
Towards the end of her life, she fell and broke her shoulder. Then she was diagnosed with cancer. Finally at 83, she was nearing the end. As part of our FifthGradeAroundTheWorld year of travel with our son, I had chosen to spend a month in South Africa. We had all been there many times at that point, but something told me it would be important to be there in September 2010.
She was born in Holland but had lived many years in Germany. Thus she had a very strong constitution. She had lived through WWII. She had so many stories. By the time we arrived on Sept 1, her body was experiencing TBF as here doctor called it, Total Body Failure. As we walked into her TV room on our arrival to South Africa, she stood up and gave us all a hug. This was the last time she would ever do this.
She and I were famous for staying up late playing Rummikub and talking. Very often we would talk so much that we would forget whose turn it was. We enjoyed lots of South African wine with wonderful classical music from the local radio station throughout the evening. If Robert was visiting, he would stay for a game or two. Ruth would last a bit longer. But inevitably Resi and I would end up alone and enjoy ourselves late into the night. Of all my memories of my South African mom, it is these intimate moments together that would forever bond us.
On that Sept 1, she and I stayed up late chatting in spite of her failing health. Her stubbornness had kept her alive until now. Part of me knows she was waiting for us to return to South Africa before she could let go. That evening she shared with me her deep concerns and her final request of me. Her two biological children, Ruth and Robert had long struggled together. She was worried about their relationship once she was gone. It had been one of the reasons she just couldn’t let go in spite of her grave health. She finally said, “Charlie, I need your help. I need you to watch after both Ruth and Robert. They are going to struggle. You need to help them get through their rough times together. Please promise me that you’ll do this.”
I assured her that I would take on this responsibility and we would all be okay. Tears followed from both of us. We both knew she had reached the end. Soon she was transferred to a hospice facility. And then my family and Robert said goodbyes and headed to Cape Town. We knew she didn’t want a big bedside death scene. Instead it was easier for her to let go, away from her house, and away from her family.
It all happened so quickly after that. We got an early morning phone call that she had finally passed away. I am so happy that we were all together in South Africa at this moment. We planned the Catholic service and reception at her home afterwards. During the service, the priest spoke of her three kids, Robert, Ruth, and Charlie. She had invented the nickname Charlie when I arrived in 1988 from Malawi where I was a Peace Corps Volunteer. Her husband’s name was Karl and thus she didn’t want the confusion of two Karl/Carl’s coming when she called out our name. So she immediately said “We are going to call you Charlie.” And thus, I will forever be Charlie to my South African family.
Tears still fill my eyes each time I land at the Johannesburg airport and I realize that my Resi is no longer there. She was the last surviving parent of the four I had. But her spirit still greets me as I arrive back home.
Unfortunately many airlines slammed the passport control and I ended up waiting for an hour and a half. It was the longest I had ever waited there after so many visits. My sister had come to fetch me so I was texting her to go have a coffee. It was going to be a while.
The benefit of a long wait is that my bag was waiting for me as I ran by and past customs. I saw Ruth instantly and we both were in tears immediately. Being big criers is something that she and I have in common. We cry when we say hello. We cry when we say goodbye. We cry at Hallmark commercials.
So great to see my sis Ruthie again!
Robert had bought her a new Subaru a year ago and it was the first time I had seen it. She was so proud of her new car. We had a quick and fun trip back to Randpark Ridge on the other side of Johannesburg.
Ruth had stocked up on some of my favorite delicatessen favorites for the wonderful German butchery nearby. With a large German community in Joburg, good German food is abundant. We had a delicious lunch and then I went down for a nap. Luckily I was coming from a time zone that was fairly close to South Africa’s. So I was just a little jet lagged. Normally, I had the time change from California to South Africa in addition to a 30 year journey to get over. So this was going to be easy.
My nephews, the twins, are now 23 years old just like Corbin. Kyle and Cameron had both graduated university with honors and were working their first jobs. I was very proud of all their hard work. They also had both recently been given offers for big corporate jobs at BMW and Investec. Corbin is graduating in December. It’s not a competition but his cousins are winning.
For dinner that night Ruth made one of my favorite dishes, pork loin with bacon in a cream sauce. Pork with pork with cream. Germans really know how to cook. My mom is from Denmark where there are actually more pigs than people. So I grew up on lots of pork. Yummy.
After dinner, we played a round of the board game Catan with the family. That and Rummikub are our go to games that we always play. It felt so nice to be back together again. We loved seeing Kyle’s girlfriend that we had met last Christmas. Now Cameron had a girlfriend too. It always warms my heart to see them all grown up.
So nice to be back with the family
As it was a “school night” and they both had work in the morning, they went off to bed. Ruth’s husband also followed and soon we were left on our own. Just like I used to with our mom, Ruth and I also have embraced the late night chat over a glass of wine and even a game of Rummikub at times. It’s now our special time together. Even though we talk on the phone, we both prefer a nice in-person catch up. It was a beautiful Joburg evening so we sat outside by the pool. Moments like this definitely make up one of my “happy places”.
My brother/bff Robert started his career in big tech. He even managed to retire around 38 years old. But not being the sit at home and do nothing kind of guy, he started to build climbing gyms and it’s been a fun second career. Sister Ruth now works for his South African company and so we started our day by going over to the Joburg gym. I did a nice cardio workout and then hit some of the walls on the auto-belay. Robert did a great job building this gym and gear shop. Since Ruth had more work to do, I Ubered home and took the boys out for sushi to celebrate their new job offers.
After lunch I set out to buy a local SIM card. This used to be easy in South Africa. It turns out tourists can only easily get SIM cards at the airport now. Anywhere else in the country, you have to provide proof of residency like a bill with your name on it. They have had problems with lots of scams. LESSON LEARNED: Buy your tourist SIM card at the airport before you exit. I would be back at the airport on Sunday and pick one up then.
Because I had some free time in the afternoon when everyone was working, I met up with a local guy from one of the gay social networking applications. We had coffee and hung out a bit. He is a fellow cyclist and he always does the Cape Argus Cycle Tour bike race that I have done five times myself! Usually my time is very limited while visiting Joburg so it was nice to make a new friend.
We were invited that evening to watch Hannah’s parents perform in the bar of the country club at the nearby Eagle Canyon. They do a mix of pop music focusing on the 80s and 90s. They are outstanding! And Hannah even joined them and did lead vocals on a couple of songs as we had dinner. The highlight of the evening was when they sang the song “Jerusalema” by Master KG. During COVID, this song swept the world at a time when we needed something positive and happy as we all sheltered in place. It had a fun dance to go along with it and people around the world joined in and started filming themselves dancing to it.
I am not very hip. I had never heard of this song. But the bar in Joburg erupted when Hannah’s parents started to play it. What really shocked me was the group dancing was made up of whites, blacks, Indians… all dancing together. This was the new South Africa. Yes, the country still struggles with many things. The electricity goes out for long periods every day. The crime and murder rates are horrible. But seeing this group of strangers dance together gives me hope. As I started to film, the tears began to well up in my eyes. South Africa just might make it.
A nice demo of people joining this dance craze:
Even the airlines got in on the fun:
Austrian Airlines:
Comlux Kazakhstan:
Royal Bhutan Airlines:
SAS:
Ryanair:
AirAsia:
Our day started super early on Saturday with a 6:30 am tennis court reservation. Ruth and the boys had gotten more into tennis during COVID so we had a great time playing together before it got too hot. My nephews tennis skills have officially surpassed mine and they easily kick my butt.
A fun visit to Johannesburg
More love filled my heart that day dear friends Sarah and Glenn came for dinner. They all live in the same housing estate as did Resi and Ruth with her family. It’s weird to see Resi’s house where I had so many memories but I know she’s no longer there. Ruth reports it’s a young family that now lives there. And they yell a lot.
I made some smoked salmon appetizers and two butter boards which are all the rave now. I had seen them on Instagram and I enjoyed my first attempt. Frans and the boys did a typical South African summer braai of lots of meats: sausages, chicken, beef, pork.. Ruth made a bunch of different salads to go along with it all. Hannah finished off our meal with a berry pavlova. Nothing beats a homemade meal made with love. It was a wonderful evening of catching up and enjoying life together.
Two butter boards and some smoked salmon to start off dinner
After my brief visit with everyone in Joburg, it was time to head down to Cape Town. As I planned The Sabbatical, I tried my hardest to use miles on every flight. I had originally booked booked a biz class award flight on British Airways which offers their name and support for local SA company Comair. They fly older 737s but have beautiful SLOW lounges in both JNB and CPT. Unfortunately, the global pandemic and some mismanagement led to their demise. I got an email from BA over the summer saying my ticket was canceled. My only other miles option was to fly South African Airways. Once the flagship airline of South Africa and the aviation success story of the entire African continent, SAA is currently on life support. Years of horrible management have taken their toll. They ceased all operations in 2021 and are currently back but with just flying a handful of planes to a few cities. But they still sold me an award ticket to Cape Town!
Maybe it was the AVgeek in me but I wanted to see what was actually left of this shell of a once great airline. None of my South African friends or family could believe that I was willingly choosing to fly on the current SAA. The loss of SAA and British Airways/Comair on domestic travel has been devastating. They both also had low cost versions of their airlines, Mango and Kulula, which all went under too. So the four biggest domestic airlines all disappeared. Supply is weak and demand is huge. The big winner in this fiasco is the quiet little airline SA Airlink. They have been around for 30 years and last year was now the third biggest airline in Africa. They are growing and filling in all the gaps left by SAA and BA. They are also benefiting by historically high ticket prices due to the lack of competition which has helped fund this growth.
Robert and I have often discussed the failing SAA. It should have been left to die years ago. Government involvement hasn’t helped at all in spite of spending precious taxpayer money on this dying horse. Nevertheless, today I was flying what was left of SAA from OR Tambo to Cape Town. The advice of “Fasten your seatbelts” was never more poignant.
My nephews and both girlfriends offered to drive me to the airport. I love my time with them. I think they also appreciate their time with Uncle Charlie. We laugh a lot together. It was so much more entertaining than a boring old Uber.
FLIGHT #14 OF THE SABBATICAL
South African Airways #337, A319, ECONOMY
DEPARTURE: Johannesburg, South Africa (JNB) 13:00
ARRIVAL: Cape Town, South Africa (CPT) 15:10
DURATION: 2h10
OR Tambo airport has gone through lots of growing pains over the years since it was named after Jan Smuts, some white oppressor from the apartheid government. It’s an airport where you end up walking huge distances. I feel bad for the old travelers. Cape Town has the same problem.
Back in the late 80s, younguns Robert and Carl at then Jan Smuts airport in Joburg
The check-in area is confusing with two separate check-in areas in separate terminals. It would be lovely if the difference was just domestic and international. But it’s much more convoluted than that. The old South African Airways used to have a beautiful premium check-in area. But that’s now gone and you have to look closely to find the few remaining desks that still exist in a small corner of the airport as ghostly tumbleweeds roll by. I had tried to check-in via the app and website but those too have fallen into disrepair. So sad.
The agent who checked me in was delightful and even managed to make a small seat change for me. I asked if there was still a domestic lounge, and she said yes! All was not lost. I had a backup Priority Pass lounge too just in case.
I love the SAA Domestic lounge because you get great views of the runway and domestic gates. I had my third cup of coffee of the day along with some smoked salmon, croissant, meats, and cheese. If the lounge was any indication of things, SAA was still alive and kicking.
A sad moment came when I could see off in the distance a little aircraft graveyard. There sat a bunch of relics from Mango BA/Comair. There was also an Air Namibia but they must just be storing a plane there as they are not dead yet. I raised my cup of coffee and toasted a remembrance to them.
The "I'm not dead yet!" award for persistent airline goes to South African Airways
At the jet way, I got stopped and they took away my rollie bag. South Africa has had a silly 7 kg limit on all hand baggage for many years. It’s super annoying. The rest of the world will let me enter the cabin with a rollie. But someone in the Ministry of Transportation is a rule maker. They also have an incredibly difficult law where you need to bring a copy of your children’s birth certificate in order to enter the country with them. A passport just isn’t good enough. Both of these laws just make travel needlessly more complicated.
The highlight of my two hour flight to Cape Town were the two flight attendants who served me. I was ready for Nurse Ratchet after all the difficulties the employees have been through. Instead, I got two of the kindest, gracious flight attendants that I have ever met on the continent. Towards the end of the flight, I went up and talked to them. I let them know that they are the best faces of SAA right now. They both should be very proud of their hard work.
The bottom line is that SAA isn’t dead yet. All the economists of the world agree it should be dissolved. But it’s still here. South African Airways was started in the 1930 and has weathered many storms. So I wish it well. One time I got to experience their International First Class on their 747 before they ditched the whole idea of first class like so many airlines. It was an experience that was uniquely South African and wonderful.
My brother from another mother Robert and I met during my last year of college in the year 1987. I had just returned from 10 weeks of summer travel with my friend Maureen. It was my first round-the-world trip, starting with the student travel thing in Europe for three weeks. Then we did Thailand and Hong Kong. Finally the amazing part was spending three weeks in China. Back in 1987, China was entirely different. It was a backpackers dream if you were adventurous. Things were dirt cheap. Many places were untouched by Westerners. Even in the big cities, we stood out everywhere. I even had an old woman on a crowded bus touching the blond hairs on my arm. She was fascinated by them. At one point she just looked up at me and smiled. The whole experience is something that changed my life forever.
Toward the end of our time in China, right around week 9 of our journey together, Maureen and I had a big fight. Ironically, it was over something trivial. But this trip taught me how important it is to spend some time apart when traveling with friends and even family. We were stir crazy with each other. My rule since then with friends has been two days of full time traveling together must be followed with a morning or afternoon or even the whole day apart. It’s a formula that I have found makes traveling with others a success. Even when I travel with my husband, after two days, we part ways for a bit. It works.
Unfortunately, at our young ages, we weren’t as wise. Maureen and I never fully recovered. We had experienced so many wonderful things that summer together. But we were both young and stubborn. The worst part of it was we were supposed to return to UC Davis and be flat mates. I loved the apartment complex where I lived. I had lived there my entire four years at Davis. I never made it to the dorms because my high school friend Jane wanted to live together by the time I showed up after my year at the University of Madrid. But all of the sudden I needed a roommate. I had always lived with close friends. What was I going to do?
I told the whole story to the apartment manager Mary as soon as I got back to Davis. She mentioned that a very nice young man had come by looking for a place to live. He was a first year grad student at the business school. And he was from Germany. Or was it Africa? She couldn’t exactly remember. But decades later, little would I know that this was a pivotal moment of my life. The next day I would be meeting the person that would become my best friend and who would be forever sharing his family with me.
We met in the Memorial Union building at UCD. We had coffee to get to know each other a bit. He was born in Germany but had moved with his family to South Africa because his father was a journalist, photographer, and author on African politics. He attended German high school in Joburg and then WITS there where he studied Electrical Engineering. He had been working for Siemens in Germany and then Atlanta and now was about to get his MBA. So after a single conversation, we shook hands and agreed to be flatmates. And the rest is history.
He and I have rarely lived in the same place during our friendship. But the beauty of our relationship is we don’t mind getting on a plane to meet up. I happened to be placed in the Peace Corps in Malawi which was just two hours from South Africa. He was beginning his career in Big Tech by then back in California. And then he finally moved back to open an office for them in Joburg. Then he got married and they moved to the Bay Area but Terry and I were living in Los Angeles. At least we were in the same state. And it has continued like this through the years as we have lived all around the globe. Thirty-six years later we have shared a lifetime together.
A few years into his second marriage, he really wanted to be a dad. He and his wife decided they would adopt. So they even used the same adoption lawyer we used to have Corbin. Their son Jordan was even born in the same hospital as Corbin. Uncle Bob to his three nephews was now Dad to Jordan. And I got another nephew.
As we were landing in Cape Town, I got a nice glimpse of Table Mountain. It is always such a welcoming sight. Today she had a high layer of clouds which the locals affectionately refer to as the “tablecloth”. Over the years we have done lots of hikes and rock climbs on her. And I knew that I had more adventures with her coming during this visit.
After grabbing my checked bag, I started my long walk to meet Robert. In preparation of the World Cup a few years back they made the Cape Town airport bigger and then moved curbside pickup way out into a far away parking garage. I like to blame my favorite rule-making guy back in the Ministry of Transport. A simple curbside pickup means walking through the crowded arrivals area, through the door to the outside. Then down an awkward ramp to get you on the other side of the main road. Then in an elevator to now go back up a level and to the far end of the P2 parking garage building. This is not for the faint at heart. Luckily I made it and eventually found Robert who was trying to time his arrival with mine.
It was great to see him. Our last meeting was in May before I left the US. Once a year, I organize a fun weekend of old friends and he made the trek back to SF to join us for the festivities. But he’s happiest in his element of Cape Town. He talks about moving away at some point. But at least now, they have a great life in spite of it all. He often quotes one of his local friends who said, “It’s like we’re riding in First Class but it’s on the top deck of the Titanic.” The ship may be going down soon, but until it does, we’re going to have a great time. This is South Africa.
Many years back he bought a house in the exclusive enclave of Llandudno between Hout Bay and Camps Bay. I am a big sunset guy. And I have seen some of the best sunsets of my life from his place. It is what has inspired me to seek out sunsets for the rest of my life. He renovated the house when he first bought it with his first wife. And then when he met Trish, she spearheaded a wonderful renovation which takes full advantage of its position on the Atlantic Ocean. He was building another climbing gym at the time, so she was fully in charge of the project. And she did a great job. The best part is that I have an amazing guest apartment now on the lower level of the house also with views and amazing sounds from the ocean.
I said my hellos to Trish and my now seven year old nephew Jordan. I had last seen him when we came for Christmas nine months prior. He had definitely gotten taller. Of course, Resi’s tradition required a bottle of champers to be opened marking that I had officially arrived.
That evening, Trish’s son from her first marriage and his girlfriend came over for dinner. It’s always great to see them and catch up on their young, millennial lives. Trish and Robert collaborated on dinner of tuna on the BBQ and a big salad. Cape Town gets lovely local tuna. As it was early spring, the evenings still chill down and Robert made a nice fire to enjoy as we all began to fade. Robert and Trish are early risers as Jordan is always up by 6 am and often earlier. It was not a late night and soon we all were fast asleep to the sounds of the waves.
Happy to be back in Cape Town with the family
The next morning was a national holiday so Jordan, Trish, and I had an early game of Monopoly Jr. It was a simplified version of the original that all three of us enjoyed. I grew up with tons of board games with my brother and my family. I can really appreciate how much they taught me about numbers, logic, and strategy. Jordan really seemed to enjoy playing too.
In his semi-retired state for the past twenty years, Robert likes to have some sports activity scheduled each day. Today we would be biking over to the Indian Ocean side for lunch and then biking back. It’s an iconic ride that we have done many times. The best part of it is the section between Nordhoek and Chapman’s Peak along the famous Chapman’s Peak drive. It is one of the most scenic rides in the world. Robert loves his adult toys: sailboats, road bikes, mountain bikes, surf skis, kayaks... They all help keep him active and busy. A few years back, he bought two Specialized mountain e-bikes. These things are amazing. They have entirely changed the sport of mountain biking. And as I age, I love that little boost of power especially when going up steep hills. It’s like I am 20 again! And in my mid to late fifties, I don’t often feel like I am 20. Even when riding them on the road, I feel young and potent. But the competitor in Robert asks at the end of a ride, how much battery do I have left? He’s a bit older than me but has always been much more sporty. I don’t mind being in second place. Enjoying sports is part of his well-being. I am just along for the fun time. Often I try to suggest that Robert ride one of his non-powered bikes and I take an e-bike. I feel this evens the playing field a bit. If Robert doesn’t get a decent workout each day, his mood quickly plummets.
The traditional "top of Chappies" shot
We stopped for lunch as planned in Simonstown. I had some nice mussels in a white wine broth, nothing too heavy but a perfect delicious protein. South Africa is great for seafood and beef. Mama never goes hungry. The way back home was a literal breeze with a strong tailwind pushing us the entire time. The 40 mile bike ride was a good warm up activity for the many outings to come in the next weeks. Robert brought another one of his toys along our ride, the drone. He has bought a number of them but they often meet their demise by crashing or flying away. Luckily they keep coming down in price. He took some lovely footage of me biking Chapman’s on the way back.
I signed up to make dinner as Robert and Trish’s dear friends Alf and Evelyn were coming for dinner. Robert gets a lot of flack from Alf because he easily throws out the expression “My best friend Carl” when speaking about me. As his local best friend, it pisses Alf off. And they joke about it. But I think he actually gets a bit pissed off. The same happens with my dear friend Tom. He knows that he is one of my best friends. But when I throw out a “My best friend Robert” in front of him, I think it stings a little. Neither of us mean any harm in the least. But I have barely known Tom 23 years! How can that compare to the lifetime of friendship with Robert! Okay, I know that sounds a little crazy. Prior to the big weekend of long time friends that met this past May, Tommy literally asked months before when he heard about it, “How long does someone have to know you before they get an invite to the weekend??? Jesus!” Most of the people that attend the weekend have known each other for 30 to 40 years. It’s our annual version of the “Big Chill”. So this year, Tom and Charlie were invited to the group. Over the years everyone had already met him but as Tom and I have gotten much closer, it seemed natural that he and his husband should be there.
I made another butter board for tonight’s dinner followed by a chicken and biscuit type pot pie with a salad. Both Alf and Evi are avid bikers that have made the leap over to e-bikes. I am totally on their side. We get along great. It was another lovely evening with lots of laughter. Coming home to South Africa always makes me feel so good to see everyone again.
Me with Alf and Trish and another butter board
I had to earn my keep the next morning by spending an hour on the phone with Robert’s GM and lead web designer. I am super opinionated about many things. And I always have lots of comments and ideas for Robert’s businesses. Best friend status and almost a decade in Silicon Valley buys me some clout. I also had a few comments about the retail gear shop in Joburg that I had just seen. And then Robert asked me to take a look at their new website that was going to launch soon. A fresh pair of eyes is always useful. After an hour, they had a lot to think about. I have worked with so many UX designers that don’t always get the product or the users. One thing that I helped Robert’s team think about creating User Profiles of the website users. This helps them discover the flow on the site for different users. And then I had them count the number of clicks it took each kind of user to do the things they came to the website for. Each additional click is a barrier for the customer. I actually enjoyed working with them. Robert hires good people that are eager to learn.
For Robert and me, the day’s big activity was hiking up Lion’s Head. Over the years, we have hiked up and even done some rock climbs on it. Robert likes a brisk pace and I was struggling. I blame that I have been taking a heart beta blocker for the past few years and it makes me feel a hundred years old. Possibly it’s also that I am just getting older. But I don’t like that reason. But since I started on it, I have played a balancing game of how much to take without zapping my energy. I have endurance and will always make it. But now it takes me a little longer. Luckily the views were outstanding. At the top, we took our traditional picture standing on the peak marker. Somehow all of Table Mountain behind us was cut out of the picture. But I still know it’s there.
Top of Lion's Head in Cape Town
Nice views on the way down from Lion's Head
Dinner was just with Trish and Jordan so I enlisted Jordan’s help. Once focused, he does a great job helping out. I am very structured. Terry and I learned a wonderful parenting approach when we were raising Corbin called RIE, Respectful Infant Educaring. I know that it sounds super California touchy-feely. But it allows infants to grow their self-confidence and independence. As an infant that means they learn how to be great eaters, great sleepers, and can play independently. Using the RIE approach works with everyone, not just infants. Since I visit often, Robert and Trish have been open to working with me on various parenting issues that have popped up. Giving advice and guidance to friends about their kids is a touchy subject. But like Mary Poppings, with each visit I try to help them with one of the problem areas they are dealing with. During my visit in July 2021, I helped Jordan develop skills to set the table, eat without distractions including the iPad, and then clean it all up. Eating had always been a struggle. During my current visit, his parents were frustrated that he didn’t like playing by himself. Jordan always enlisted one of them or his nanny to play with him. Somehow I knew he would benefit by learning how to pay independently so I told them that I thought I could help after they brought it up. Jordan and I would work on this the next day.
After dinner, the three of us had a wonderful moment outside together enjoying the sunset. We even sang songs as we listened to music. It was one of my favorite memories of my time with them.
Enjoying the sunset and singing songs
I was quick to adjust to my life when I am in South Africa. I had a quiet morning of writing. Robert and I decided to do a quick hike up Little Lion’s Head just up the hill from their house. He brought his drone and we had fun playing around. I couldn’t believe how well it did in spite of super strong winds.
Dinner that night was with Trish’s sister and her family. Trish’s daughter also joined us. They are a fun Italian family and things often get loud and animated. We had all been together at Christmas so it was fun to see everyone again.
Tragedy struck when I read an email saying Singapore Airlines had downgraded my A380 New Suites flight from Singapore to Hong Kong to a 777 old First Class flight. WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE?? Okay, I know that no one in the world can feel sorry for me. Boo hoo, I have to fly in Singapore First Class on a 777. How HORRIBLE! I get it. The optics aren’t good. COVID messed up my first flight in New Suites and now it had messed up my newest reservation.
So being the super AVgeek that I am, I began to wonder where else I might travel to and get to experience the New Suites. SQ had returned to flying their A380s to many destinations. I was going to be in Asia for two months. Maybe I should take a little trip just to experience it. In my research, I saw that they had a nice six hour flight to Mumbai. And there was award space! I could fly in New Suites on the way out and then take Business Class back. But as I thought about it, I decided I should just fly New Suites both directions! I had never been to Mumbai and I was sure I could fill four days. So I booked my ticket SIN-BOM-SIN all in New Suites! The world had righted itself again. I would also get to experience SQ’s newly renovated Private Room. I loved the old Private Room and was anxious to see the improvements. The only thing that seemed a little weird was that I would be leaving on this impromptu trip to India just three days after I arrived in Thailand.
After I booked my ticket, I posted on Couchsurfing that I was coming to Mumbai. I wasn’t looking to sleep on any couches, but I definitely wanted to meet up with some locals and explore their city. I immediately started hearing from people that wanted to meet and show me around. I love to visit a local gay bar whenever I travel. I am not a big bar guy but it’s fun to see the local culture. So Couchsurfing is a great place to find someone to show me the local color. In my profile, it’s very clear that I am a big old homo. I talk about my hubby and son. And I am a member of various gay affinity groups that are all listed on my profile. Because of this in countries where homosexuality is illegal or less accepted, locals feel comfortable contacting me since they can see I have many references and I am not the police. India has had a rocky time with homosexuality. It was decriminalized and then criminalized again. Finally in 2018, their Supreme Court decriminalized it. But homophobia is still deeply ingrained in their culture.
Lots of closted Indians began to contact me. Single. Married. All types. One married guy Sam started to chat with me. He actually lives up in Jaipur about an hour by plane from Mumbai. He was married with a son but was bi. Many gay or bi guys just end up getting married in India because their family pressure is so strong. I really respect the guys who fight back and don’t get married. But it’s hard on the wife when she’s married to a gay man, not exactly what she bargained for.
Sam really wanted me to visit. So he said if I extended my trip, I could attend his sister’s wedding with him! I wasn’t even originally planning on visiting India. Now I was thinking about extending my trip to attend an Indian’s wedding that I had never met! This sounded crazy.
As Sam’s email with the invitation arrived, I noticed the time and had to jump in a car to go pick up sister Ruth who was flying in to join us for a few days. She would be able to help me with this decision. She’s a good sounding board.
Off to the airport to pick up Ruth
She and I ate lunch on the beach at Dunes in Hout Bay as we often do to get some one-on-one time. Then when we got home, Robert was gone so we took a nice bike ride to Chapman’s Peak and back. During COVID Ruth lost a bunch of weight. She also loves the e-bikes. So I didn’t have to convince her at all. We had a great ride.
Lunch in Hout Bay then a nice bike ride to Nordhoek
Thanks to the Instagrams as I jokingly refer to it as, I learned that one of my Danish cousins was visiting South Africa with his family and would be in Cape Town! We figured out that we last saw each other in 1996 when I brought my mom home when she had cancer so she could say goodbye to her relatives. So we figured out that had been 26 years ago!
Lunch with Danish cousin Claus and his family
We met for breakfast the next morning and it was so great to see him and meet his three kids. His grandmother was my mom’s favorite relative. I told lots of stories about spending time with his grandparents at their summer house. My cousin and his family are big travelers and I look forward to our paths crossing again when we have more time.
After thinking about Robert and Trish’s concern about Jordan always needing adults around, I figured out how to approach it with Jordan. So that afternoon when he got home from school, we began to work on it. I made sure he had a snack and used the restroom so that he was ready to get down to work. RIE taught me that before tackling difficult tasks, we all need to be rested, fed, and ready to go.
I told him that we would be working on his skills of Independent Playtime. We talked about what this was. Then we discussed why having these skills was important. Finally he brainstormed a list of things he could do during Independent Playtime. He came up with things like: reading, writing, drawing, coloring, building forts out of cushions. Together we also came up with a list of things that didn’t work for this time: paints, anything involving liquids or water, anything outside, anything in the parents’ office… We created a poster that had all these ideas on it. Finally, I offered that he try to do this for 15 minutes. He could go longer but that was the goal. I asked if he thought he could do it. Yes.
So I gave him a phone and showed him how to turn on the stopwatch. Once he saw it had been 15 minutes, Independent Playtime would be over and he could choose to move on to a different activity. What I didn’t do was set a timer. When it would go off, it might interrupt him just as he was doing something very important. If things were going well, he was welcome to keep going. I also sat Robert and Trish down and we talked about creating the appropriate quiet space for him to do this work. They too needed to not interrupt him or talk loudly with each other. This is normally a fairly noisy house so I needed everyone to be involved.
Jordan chose to build a fort out of cushions. He did great. After 16 minutes he said he was done. And he cleaned it all up. He asked for my help but I told him it was his job. As he played, I was in the next room. I could hear it all. He never tried to engage me, which is something we had talked about. Over the next few weeks he would continue to work on building these important skills.
Trish isn’t the biggest fan of cooking. And Ruth and I love to cook. So we were going to spend the weekend up in Churchhaven on the Langebaan lagoon about 90 minutes north of Cape Town. It’s a stunning setting inside of a national park. Just a few houses have been built there so it is fairly untouched. The toys that live there are two Hobie catamarans, two surf skis, a kayak, and some bikes. These days another pair of electric mountain bikes have also found a home there too. The best part is that the water from the frigid Atlantic Ocean warms nicely in the shallow lagoon making it a perfect playground for everyone.
Jordan gets out around 2 pm and we hit the road from his school. It had been two years since I had been to Churchhaven and it was as beautiful as ever. We brought all our groceries since the nearest grocery was an hour away! That’s a lot of food for us all. Robert has a Weber charcoal BBQ there and by the end of the night I had convinced him he needed a gas one. It’s just so much easier. I was in charge of braai’ing all the meats and Ruth had made a bunch of salads back in Cape Town. We had a nice beef filet but the fire just wasn’t hot enough. Dinner time kept being postponed by in the end we had a lovely meal on the patio to the last glimmer of the day’s light. Churchhaven is totally off the grid and we conserve the precious electricity from the solar panels and the batteries.
A fun weekend up at Churchhaven on the Langebaan lagoon
Robert and I started with an early surf ski paddle trying to beat the coming afternoon rains. We rowed all the way across the lagoon to a fascinating shipwreck that is a great halfway point. I really enjoy surf skiing over kayaking. The boat is sleeker and narrower so you can go much faster as you paddle. You feel like you’re gliding across the surface of the water.
A morning surf ski paddle out to the shipwreck across the lagoon
During the rains later, Jordan and I had some nice nephew/uncle bonding time by watching the Brady Bunch Hawaiian episodes. He had heard us talking about the cursed tiki and really wanted to see the show. The evening’s main event was the traditional Rummikub. It always makes me feel like I am home to play that game.
I made some nice Eggs Benedict to get the day started and then Ruth and I went out on the surf skis. We followed a flock of white flamingos for the longest time. Back at home Jordan had found a tortoise and was trying to get it to play with him but it looked like he just wanted to escape. Both days Jordan did very successful Independent Playtimes. Just with a little structure, he easily adapted to this activity. One day it lasted a half hour!
In the afternoon, Robert and I tried to sail but the wind was a little light. We still had fun out on the water and we made the best of what wind there was. The Hobie is a fun little catamaran that is a good way to learn about sailing. Robert has overturned his before and then whacked his head open with the hull as he tried to get it upright. Never a dull moment.
Sailing with little wind. The views are still lovely.
That evening brought a beautiful sunset and a lovely dinner from Ruth. It was a relaxing time and we all enjoyed being together.
My South African siblings
Dinner by candlelight
On our final morning, we had a more successful sail with better winds. We got some good speed and used some sailing skills. Always eager to maximize our opportunities, we got back and hopped on the mountain bikes for a nice ride including some beach riding. The seagulls were not pleased with us.
Biking along the beach
Overall, our long weekend visit to Churchhaven was wonderful. The location is perfect for doing lots of fun activities. Plus it’s close enough to Cape Town that a weekend visit works well.
One of the things keeping Robert and Trish in Cape Town is her parents. I really enjoy them and once or twice a week there is a family breakfast either at a lovely garden center or the Italian cafe. With one of Trish’s sister’s family in from overseas, we were a big group and it was a lively breakfast.
The next morning we went went to Robert's Cape Town gym for a nice climbing workout. Many years ago, he got me into climbing. I still much prefer climbing outdoors but the gym is convenient. It is a world class climbing gym with huge walls. He’s gotten good at building gyms where he pops out the roof offering some nice height.
A fun INSTAGRAM moment at the gym
I love driving around Cape Town in Robert's Miata that he bought after falling in love with mine during our LA years. It's still a great car.
2003 vs. 2023. Los Angeles vs. Cape Town. Still love a Mazda Miata.
With every visit to Cape Town, I always look forward to a trip to the wine country for a nice lunch. Everyone was busy so I decided to go on my own. This year of my solo Sabbatical, I have really learned to appreciate time on my own. A tranquil trip to a wine farm sounded wonderful. The hardest part is trying to decide where to eat lunch. There are MANY delicious options. I love the setting at Glen Carlou with its expansive vistas out across the vines. And the food is very good. I started with lamb croquetas, then a main of pork belly, and ended with a nice cheese plate.
Nothing like a peaceful day of lunch in the wine country
Lunch at Glen Carlou
That evening old friends Andy and Sharon came over for dinner. I see them every time I visit and we always have a great time. So many laughs.
Another staple to each visit I go to Cape Town is a Table Mountain hike. The most popular is India Venster. Luckily there are many routes up to help avoid all the tourists. My favorite is one called Kloof Corner. It follows a nice ridgeline up with a mix of hiking and scrambling. The highlight is an interesting chimney that you have to snake your way up. We’ve taken a number of non-climbing friends up this way over the years.
Kloof Corner hike/climb up Table Mountain
Corbin even made a nice video about it during our year of travel:
Luckily my energy was holding nicely and while I was slower than the other two, I maintained a constant push and made it to the top. The hike has spectacular views along the way and it is one of my favorite all time hikes in the world.
Robert and I hadn’t gotten the sailing we wanted the previous weekend because the wind was not cooperating. We were thinking of heading off into the Cederburg mountains for some rock climbing and mountain biking. But on the way up there, we would spend a few days back in Churchhaven to play with the Hobie more.
One the way up we stopped for lunch and the restaurant was experiencing “load shedding”. South Africa has been experiencing huge issues with not producing enough electricity. Because of this, there are specific schedules when the electricity will be shut off. Trying to run a business with no electricity is challenging. Lunch was limited to just a few menu items. Everyone is affected but seems to manage. The worst part is that there is no solution for this problem and it’s going to continue for a long time. Luckily those with resources have all installed solar panels and batteries or use generators. But much of the country literally sits in the dark.
That afternoon, Robert was playing with one of his drones at the lagoon and ended up losing it. The headwinds to get it home were so strong that it wasn’t going to make it across the lagoon and would instead sink into the water. Once he figured this out, he decided to land it on the opposite bank of the lagoon and try to retrieve it later.
Playing with the drone in Churchhaven
So Robert and I did a morning mountain bike ride around the lagoon. We saw flamingos, a bontebok, a black spitting cobra, and a puff adder. Robert has been coming to this area for several years and he had never seen a single snake. During this visit we saw three! And they weren’t the small friendly types. The last thing I want to run over with my mountain bike is a 6 foot long puff adder.
Amazingly, Robert found the drone in the bushes. He used some abandoned buildings as a landmark as he did the emergency landing. Even though this was one of his cheap drones, he was very pleased with himself to have found it.
The wind was strong in the afternoon and we had a fun sail with a couple of hectic moments. My sailing skills are still in development. Luckily we made it back safely and never capsized the boat. Robert took Trish and Jess out for a sail once we got back.
Jordan had been continuing to do well with Independent Playtime. He was now up to 30 minutes a day. After a super active morning, he chose to build a sofa cushion fort. The interesting thing was that he created a little nest inside and then ended up taking a nap. Everyone was in shock. He hadn’t taken a nap in years. He was listening to his body now in a way he hadn’t been given an opportunity to before. My nephew was growing up.
I had made Ina Garten’s roasted veggie lasagne back in Cape Town so dinner was all sorted. Before dinner we played games and enjoyed the colors of the setting sun. It was a nice evening together.
The next day Robert and I said goodbye to the others and headed up into the Cederburg mountains. We arrived in time for a beautiful sunset and a nice dinner together. While it’s great to hang with all the family, I also really appreciate our time one-on-one together. All friendships take work, even after 36 years. We took a picture celebrating the moment and then compared it to one from many years ago. Thank goodness we never age. 🙂
Thank goodness Robert and I never age!
The next day we spent rock climbing some wonderful single pitch routes at Truitjes Kraal. He and I have been here three times together before and it’s an amazing place that looks like a mix of Bryce Canyon and Zion. We had a nice 30 minute mountain bike ride each way and then did seven nice climbs. It was a perfect day and we avoided climbing in the direct sunshine for most of it. Unfortunately, the next day didn’t work out so well.
One of seven routes we did at Truitjes Kraal
Across the valley, Robert had been eyeing a nice arch that he wanted to hike to and play with his drone. We always like setting a nice goal! So we set out at 7:20 am. Unfortunately, we immediately lost the small path and began a 45 journey through dense thicket. I was in a foul mood. It reminded me of an infamous hike we once did from Robert’s house in Llandudno where we ended up bruised and bloodied. I am a fair weathered sportsman and my adventuring spirit quickly gets extinguished when trying to get through dense thicket.
Once we found the path, my legs were scratched and bloodied and my spirit defeated. We had a chat where I inquired about the rest of the route. I let it be known that I no longer had the arch as my goal.
At one point I hit my head scrambling through a small tunnel of rocks and had another little moment. Robert said he had enough of my complaining and suggested that he continue and I return home. This was the right solution. I just wasn’t feeling this hike. Unfortunately I had used up much of my energy when we lost the path and I was questioning if I would make it back to the house during sunlight. So we parted ways which turned out to be the right thing to do.
The hike that didn't quiet work out
There is no question I am getting older. And let’s say I am slowing down a bit. I know that my beta blockers don’t help. Both Robert and Trish are in great shape as they do daily outdoor activities. I definitely go slower now and end up hiking on my own most of the time as they always go ahead and then take a break until I catch up. The same thing happens in road biking. These activities used to be more social but now I had the constant feeling of not keeping up Over the years, I have been very good about setting my limits knowing the differences between Robert and me when venturing into the unknown. But my enjoyment of doing these activities has begun to wane when I am on my own for much of the time.
The other thing that has begun to bother me is hearing Robert complain when people come to Churchhaven, Cederburg, or Kynsna to hang out but then don’t want to join in on all the sporting activities. Robert is the energizer bunny and he doesn’t sit around and just read a book. He’s constantly on the go. He loves having a playmate to do his many activities. For many years, I think that has contributed to the longevity of our relationship. When we’re together, we do lots of fun things together. But now as we age, I wonder how our relationship will change. Obviously with decades of foundational friendship, I am thinking this might just be a natural ebb and flow of things. But it’s made me think of what it all means.
I have known many of my friends now for 30 or 40 years. As I have lived around the world, our friendships have grown through lots of continual hard work. I’ve really enjoyed living in the Bay Area for the past eleven years because many of my close friends have been near. We have all lived through so much together. And now as I think about moving to Europe, I am confident that these friendships will endure but there remains a question of how they will change.
My relationship with Robert is changing. I have to remind myself that it has always changed and evolved. As he continues to be a passenger on the Titanic known as South Africa, he knows that at some point, he will need to hop in his rowboat and set sail overseas. I am just noticing that I have a feeling of uneasiness that just wasn’t there before.
I remind myself that one of the biggest benefits of living in Europe is that South Africa is a simple night flight for both of us. It’s even in the same time zone! When we lived in Munich, I think I went down four times in the two years. Compared to the 30 hour trek from California, Europe is almost a neighbor to South Africa!
So as I walked off the mountain, I was pissed off. The hike had not gone well from the first moment. This hike was supposed to be another Robert and Carl fun adventure. And the opposite happened. It ended up highlighting the differences between us now. The hike had failed. And neither Robert nor I are good at failure.
Back in my job in Silicon Valley, I struggled with feeling very frustrated at times. I had a wonderful work wife named Starr. She helped me create the habit of starting my day with a gratitude list. It really worked to put things into perspective and not just focus on the negative. It became a tool I often used to balance my thoughts.
As I descended the mountain, Starr came into my mind and I created an impromptu gratitude list. I was in a beautiful place. The sun hadn’t set and I could still see the path. I still had water! I had gotten to spend three whole weeks in my beautiful South Africa. The Sabbatical was giving me so much joy and happiness. Life was good. My mood lightened and by the time I got back to the house, I was in a good place.
The mountain biking is also great up in the Cederberg mountains. It’s a mix of fire roads and single track with some technical moments. The electric mountain bikes make me laugh out loud sometimes as I am able to do maneuvers that would have been impossible before. My favorite part of mountain biking is when you successfully make it through a technical moment and then you go back down just to do it again because it was so much fun. That’s what mountain biking is all about. So the next morning we set out on a great ride.
There is great mountain biking all around the Cederburgs
This activity was a perfect activity for us to end our time up in the mountains. Long before we ever began rock climbing, we had been mountain biking in Joshua Tree, Moab, and South Africa. It was a wonderful time together and I think we both headed back home to Cape Town with smiles on our faces.
The next day I decided to have a little time on my own after lots of days with Robert and the family. I headed back to the wine country to the beautiful Babylonstoren Gardens. This was my first trip to visit this amazing collection of plants and vegetables all presented in a formal garden setting. I enjoyed the audio guide to talk me through each of the sections that had all been thoughtfully designed. I had lunch at the farm to table restaurant including soup with their famous pot pie. I finished with a latte and some of their delicious scones. In a setting outdoors where the chickens walk past your feet, it was a relaxing and delicious meal.
A beautiful day at Babylonstoren Gardens
That evening, I booked us into a new restaurant by the La Colombe restaurant group. It’s called Pier and is located at the V&A Waterfront. Normally we all would have questioned that it might be too touristy but this restaurant group is known for high standards and amazing food. Robert and Trish had treated me to weeks of hospitality so it was a small way for me to say thanks. What followed was a delicious tasting menu mixing delicious flavors with stunning presentation.
A lovely meal at Pier at the V&A Waterfront
A stunning tasting menu of the many flavors of Cape Town
On my last full day, Robert and I decided to get real workout by doing the bike ride to Chapman’s Peak and back on non-electric bikes, just like we had done in the olden days! It was a great ride and the famous Suikerbossie hill coming out of Hout Bay was a challenge which we embraced. We still had it in us. During the Cape Argus bike race, Suikerbossie is the last of the ten big hills. During the race, Cape Townians line the route on this section to cheer the riders on and even shoot a refreshing spray of water at times. I still have a wonderful memory from 1997 of my dad and Terry spotting us out of the 35,000 bikers and cheering us on at exactly the moment we needed it. I often think of my father and hear his encouragement as I bike up this hill.
Just before dinner that night, Robert, Jordan, and I took a walk to the rocks out in front of the house. We sat there and enjoyed the sunset and made new friends with the birds. It was a magical moment together that I will never forget. In the midst of the complexity of life, it felt good to share it together.
Out on the rocks in front of the house in Llandudno
FLIGHT #15 OF THE SABBATICAL
Safair #306, B737-800, ECONOMY
DEPARTURE: Cape Town, South Africa (CPT) 11:40
ARRIVAL: Johannesburg, South Africa (HLA) 13:50
DURATION: 2h10
Robert dropped me off at the Cape Town International. We realized that we didn’t know when we would see each other again. This was very strange for us. We always had a “next trip” waiting for us on the horizon. I had suggested that Uncle Charlie would love to take Jordan to Disneyland Paris when I am there in April. It’s only a simple night flight and they could pop up for a few days. It was a definite maybe.
Today I was flying another one of the smaller South African airlines that has gained prominence simply for also being one of the few airlines still standing. Safair conveniently flies into the smaller airport on the same side of Joburg as my sister Ruth. I was ready to pay some extra baggage charges but she accepted my 26 kg bag with no issue. Love an easy check-in.
The domestic Priority Pass lounge in CPT is the Bidvest Premier Lounge. This lounge offers the typical drinks but excels in the food department. Today I had a fresh pretzel with butter and cheese, a fish curry, and some fried chicken! There were other hot options too including pastas and salads. I debated a Bloody Mary but my liver voted for a nice sparkling water. The lounge has a second story area with far fewer people since it involves climbing up stairs. Both stories offer outstanding views of the planes. I wish all lounges were like this!
Safair to Landseria, Johannesburg
The two hour flight was uneventful. The nice thing about arriving at a small airport is that I got my bag quickly and Ruth was at the curb to fetch me. I loved bookending my time in South Africa with short stops on both ends in Joburg. My last night on the continent was spent celebrating Kyle’s girlfriend’s birthday with a dinner at her parents’ house. It was another fun evening with the family featuring a beautiful African sunset and lots of good food.
Ruthie and me on my last night in Africa
Celebrating Hannah's bday
Back at home Ruthie and I sat outside next to the pool having our final nighttime chat. I was really happy that we had shared so much time together this month. It was a very fulfilling visit. Luckily things between all the siblings were doing good.
The boys and their girlfriends offered to drive me to OR Tambo airport on the other side of Joburg. It was so much better than an Uber! We giggled the whole way there.
The best kind of transfer to the airport, a car full of kids!
I had enjoyed the past three and a half weeks back in Cape Town back with my family. Spending some time in South Africa was an important part of planning The Sabbatical. Four months into this adventure, I was noticing that I was slightly different. I was seeing things differently. I was thinking more about myself and the future. Part of me will always consider South Africa as a home. It’s a place where I have had many laughs. And many adventures. And many tears. But most importantly, it’s the people there that keep me coming back. For better or worse even as we drive each other crazy. I think our mom Resi and dad Karl would be proud of who each of us has become.