One half-satisfying solution is to use the wife's CX's Manage My Booking to track my own flights.
Most of my itineraries include her.
Most of those itineraries are redemption on airlines who use Amadeus.

So by coding her CX as FFP (which I do, she does not have status of her own and does not chase status), I generally get to see my own bookings.

This doesn't work on JAL, my own FQTS. I don't think this effectively works on BA either.