Thankfully my situation was resolved. The EXP agent I spoke to Friday night called me very early this morning - I was still asleep so she emailed me and let me know that not only had she taken care of addressing our upgrade to J on the outbound but also was able to get all 4 of us cleared on the return. Glad they are taking care of customers and getting this resolved.
One tip I've learned from this - just because you have a Seat assignment in J doesn't mean you are "locked in" - need to get the email that indicates the upgrade cleared and that you have been re-ticketed in the J cabin