Today was a milestone travel day, my first time on Ryanair. You don’t really LIVE in Europe until you take an incredibly cheap flight to a tourist destination. In my case my flight was one hour and ten minutes from Malaga to Marrekech for €60 round trip. I checked out of my Airbnb in Torremolinos and dropped off my suitcases at Jack’s house. My friend David had convinced me that all I needed for a three day trip was a small backpack! As convenient as the train is in Torremolinos, an Uber to the airport is like €14 so I took the easy way out.

I was mentally psyched up for a super challenging day with Ryanair and it actually all went smoothly. After having priority check in with Star Alliance and Oneworld for many years, I actually smiled as I joined the masses in the normal economy queue. This wasn’t so bad at all. The only weird Ryanair thing was after checking in, we all had to go to the Ryanair ticket window where a woman looked at my boarding pass and stamped it. Could this have not happened at check in? It felt like another example of job creation but I went with it. This was an adventure! Interestingly, Ryanair did not offer any digital boarding pass on this route but I could see in the app it was offered on other routes.

Once I decided I was headed to Marrakech, I immediately remembered the British TV series Absolutely Fabulous. To paraphrase what Edina Monsoon once said, “We’re not going to Morocco, we’re going to MARRAKECH!, sweetie darling!” So I rewatched the famous AbFab episode on their visit to Marrakech and all my research was complete! I was ready to go.


A Ryanair virgin!

Since Ryanair doesn’t offer its passengers any special lounge, I happily used my AMEX Platinum Priority Pass to gain entrance to the Malaga Sala VIP lounge that had served me well over the summer. I started with a nice glass of cava and then moved on to a Spanish rosé to accompany my delicious tapas of Russian salad, quiche, and a mushroom scramble. The food in this lounge is always amazing.

I was totally prepared that we would take a bus from the gate to our 737. I hate the bus thing but LOVE being able to take a pre-flight photo with my aircraft! Then as you reach the top of the air stairs, you must turn around and give a wave to those still on the ground. I always imagine that I am Sofia Loren at this moment, oversized sunglasses and all.


A tarmac selfie

Like an anthropologist studying the native peoples of a far off land, I boarded this brightly colored interior and quickly found my seat. The safety information card was permanently affixed to the space that the inflight video screen might have occupied. All the overhead bins had bright colored advertisements covering them. This was not SWISS First Class. The best part was the travelers were all tourists in happy holiday moods. Some had obviously also been drinking at the airport. They were on vacation! The only time I began to feel like a curmudgeon was when I could hear a number of people’s phones being used loudly without headphones. This was a losing battle of mine. But I had chosen Ryanair and I accepted it as part of the culture. I ceremoniously got out my headphones and theatrically put them on as if to teach these natives my modern, and more polite ways. No one seemed to notice.

The Frequent Flyer Gods were smiling on me today and one of the few free seats on the flight was adjacent to me! It sure makes a huge difference to have a vacant adjacent seat when flying coach! I don’t remember any inflight service but I had nicked a bottle of water from the lounge. The flight was easy and quick.

Exiting the aircraft, we were met with a nice wall of dry heat. Welcome to Northern Africa! But quickly we were inside the terminal and completed passport control easily. Once I was out, my driver met me and soon we were on our way to my riad in the medina in the center of Marrekech.

I love driving into a city for the first time. Marrakech definitely looked different than Europe. Interestingly, most of the people I saw on the streets were men. Once I got to the center, I saw a few more women. The Muslim influences were immediately seen. My goal in this country was to not be arrested for being gay. It’s nice to have goals. I would try to meet some locals and hopefully hang out together. But spending time in foreign prisons was definitely not on the agenda. I’ve see Midnight Express. It ain’t fun.

In the old town area of Marrakech, the streets drastically narrow and cars cannot move. So about three blocks from my riad, my driver pulled over and we were met by the riad’s general manager, Saeed. He guided me through the labyrinth of streets and we finally arrived at the Riad Charme d’Orient. What a stunning place this turned out to be! I found it on Booking.com and loved seeing the wonderful reviews and its outstanding 9.8 rating! The French owner invited me to sit and share a drink and snacks as she checked me in. She told me all about her riad and visiting Marrakech. The interior courtyard was so beautiful and the swimming pool in the center looked so inviting. Finally Saeed took me to one of the six guest rooms. The decoration was outstanding and really made me feel like I was in Morocco. The place was calm and super quiet. There was no way to tell I was in the middle of a bustling city. This was a true oasis.


My lovely room at the Riad


Just one swan for a solo traveler


The bathroom was also lovely.

After a quick shower, I set out to the main square, Jemaa el-Fnaa, to explore the center. Immediately, I was hit with HUGE culture shock. This city was loud, hot, and full of energy. It reminded me of every American Express travelers checks commercial from the 80s. I walked around in a bit of a daze the whole afternoon. I passed the Koutoubia mosque and arrived at the main square with its snake charmers, monkeys, camels, food stalls, and many souvenirs for sale.


The central mosque


Beautiful fruits for juices

After about an hour, I made my way back to my riad for a little swim and rest. The pool felt so refreshing. I never saw anyone else use it during my whole stay. It was my little oasis.


A cool, happy Olafman

I had seen on CouchSurfing that there was a local meetup scheduled for that evening in a trendy, more modern area of the city. With the help of Google Maps, I figured out that there was direct city bus service to take me there. I love taking local transport whenever I can figure it out. Google even told me how much it would cost! Luckily it was a straight line north from the main mosque where I boarded.

I was the first to arrive at Café du Livre for the event. Unlike many places in the city, they served alcohol so I tried one of their local beers. Soon enough, four other people arrived with a nice mix of travelers and locals. A CouchSurfing event is a great way to get to know a city. Three of us went to a nearby local restaurant for dinner for some delicious lamb and couscous.

After dinner a guy from Grindr wanted to take me to a local gay-friendly rooftop bar! So it worked out perfectly timing wise after dinner and I met Hamza out on the street where he took me to the top of the building. The bar was super cool and had 360º views of the city. While there might have been other gays there, I was hard pressed to say it was a gay place as it looked like we were “the only gays in the village.” We enjoyed some beers and had a great time getting to know each other. He was a masters student in business management and had a huge passion for hotels. He has traveled a bit and was still living at home so he could save up for more travel. As he had class in the morning, it wasn’t a late night but he said he would take me to his favorite Egyptian place for dinner on another night.

Hamza helped me load Heeth, a local Uber-esque ride sharing app, and it worked great getting me home. Most people in Morocco don’t speak English. Some speak French which helps me a bit. But there is nothing better than an app where you can designate the pickup and drop off on a map. Back at my riad, I had my upteenth shower of the day and was quickly in bed.

Breakfast at the riad is served on the beautiful rooftop with views of the surrounding buildings and the nearby mosque. It was already warming up so I took a place at the end of the communal table in the shade. Lauren came by and made introductions to the other guests who were all French. She bragged that I spoke great French which is so uncommon for American tourists! The breakfast was a fusion of French with local breads and an interesting omelet with cumin. It was a magical setting with the morning light beginning to illuminate the area.

The rooftop lounge at breakfast


My Moroccan influenced French breakfast

I had originally booked a free walking tour of the Medina but that morning received a text that it had been canceled since they didn’t get enough bookings. I quickly opened the app GetYourGuide and booked a private walking tour for myself starting in an hour. I love how the internet has entirely changed how travel works. The best part of a private tour is I can skip all the shopping opportunities and just focus on what I like.

I met my guide outside of Café de France. We chatted for a bit to figure out what I was interested in. He was visibly disappointed when I told him I didn’t want to stop in any stores or factories for shopping. The guides get nice commissions for bringing in customers. I understand that’s how their system works but I am just not interested. When I am traveling for a year, I really don’t have room to buy any souvenirs. Instead I have great photos and memories.

Our first stop was the Bahia Palace which had beautiful mosaics and woodwork. I liked hearing about the interesting history of Marrakech with a mix of the Berbers and the Muslims with Spanish influences. I was also surprised to find a Jewish quarter established after the Spanish expulsion of the Jews in 1492. That was a busy year for the Spanish. We next circled around to the old university and toured its buildings before entering the crazy streets of the souk shopping area. Overall I got a good overview of the medina and some interesting history. I had him drop me at a nice local restaurant for lunch but it ended up having too many tourists for my tastes. My favorite was a lamb tangia which is cooked in a clay pot smothered in the ashes of a fire for many hours. My pot was actually cooked in the furnaces of the hamman next door. They heat the water and cook your lunch! Its deep, rich flavors develop over time and it is very different from the more popular tagine which is cooked over charcoal or wood fire.



At the Bahia Palace


Nuts and sweets


Baking bread


A crowded bazaar

I returned to my riad for another amazing swim. It was so relaxing after a hectic morning. Then I enjoyed a nice 90 minute nap to beat the heat of the day. I am a siesta taking Spaniard at heart.

My sunset activity was a quad biking through the Moroccan desert. I had last quadbiked in the sand dunes of Swakopmund, Namibia. It was an amazing experience that Robert and I will never forget. Unfortunately, the desert was less “sandy” many more “dusty”. As we traveled in our line of eight ATVs, I figured out it was best to be last and follow from a distance to let the dust settle a bit. We stopped about half way through at a small oasis to enjoy some tea and the sunset. It was fun to see some of the desert outside of the city. Once again, all the other tourists spoke French so my brain was quickly shifting from Spanish.


A dusty but fun desert quad bike experience at sunset

We made it back later than I expected but Hamza was fine with it. He picked a lovely Egyptian restaurant on the second floor of a restaurant overlooking the whole main square. He arranged a beautiful table out on the balcony and ordered some amazing food including camel tagine! In spite of his younger age, he had a nice air of sophistication and appreciation of fine things. I kicked into mentor roll as more of his passion for fine hotels came out. He has never worked at a hotel but has toured all the 5 star hotels in Marrakech and showed me photos of all of them that he had taken. We chatted more and he admitted he did have time to work part time in addition to his studies. So I gave him the challenge of applying to ten hotels. He will learn so much just through the interview process. Also a good manager will quickly see his skills and find the right job for him. Once again, it was a school night, so we said goodbye but my heart warmed with having met him. I think he’s going to work hard and do great things.


Hamza and I eating a wonderful local meal

The gay community often refers to my type as an Daddy. It’s a thing. They also have something called Zaddy but I think that is just some sort of younger Daddy in training. When I was a budding homosexual, I connected only with people of my own age. It didn’t even cross my mind that someone 50-80 years old could be a friend or a partner. My husband believes that AIDS is the culprit. The young gays were scared to death of contracting AIDS. Gay men were dying everywhere. It was a difficult and dark period for our community. We all lived in constant fear of condoms breaking or some other mishap that would mean a death sentence for us. It seemed safer to have sex with only younger guys. When I joined the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles in January 1994, we sang at a memorial service of one of our members every single month. Sometimes, we mourned the death of two of our members in the same month. My eyes still well up with tears when I hear either of the songs we would sing, Salvation is Created and the Gaelic Blessing. To even write about it now causes deep hurt and tears to flow. The pain and scars run deep.

At the end of 1995, protease inhibitors became available for use with other nucleoside analogue medications. People stopped dying. After six years of development, we finally had something to fight HIV. Some people continued to die. But the deaths became less frequent. And then the deaths pretty much stopped. GMCLA lost over 300 men to HIV. This was more than the current number of people in the chorus. Our community had been ravaged by this virus.

This history has forever changed the current generations of Daddies. And I think it makes us good mentors for the younger gays. I love the wisdom I have gained over the years. And the educator in me enjoys guiding younger gays through their journey of sexual heath, coming out, and becoming developed gay men.

During our twelve years of living in Berkeley, we mentored a number of people. We helped them go from Baby Gays to fully functioning adults with stable lives and relationships. They all have become part of our family. It warms my heart feeling our connection of love.

So meeting Hamsa, I quickly kicked into my mentor role. So often the younger gays just think they need some quick sex. Instead a little wisdom and guidance serves them much better. So I challenged him to go on ten interviews with local hotels and then see what happens next. I could see he got excited thinking about this. I can’t wait to see what he does.

One of the activities that I saw on GetYourGuide for Marrakech was a hot air balloon ride. I had always wanted to do one so this seemed like the perfect time. Of course sunrise is the best time with warm currents and all. So I was picked up at 5:30 am from near my hotel and we set off into the dark skies of the nearby desert. I was concerned that sunrise was happening at the moment of our arrival to the launch camp. But we quickly figured out that we were the second group of the day for our balloon. We enjoyed a nice breakfast in a Berber style tent. Finally we returned to our vehicles and were driving out to where the balloons had just landed in the desert. The first passengers piled out and we quickly got in. Our pilot was a super friendly South African guy that quickly got us high in the sky. The whole experience was quiet and calm. I am not sure what I expected but it was so peaceful. Slowly all of people in the basket started to chat and get to know each other as we shared this amazing moment. Immediately next to me was an amazing pair of Scottish best friends. This was their annual trip together. They were bubbly and adventurous. One of the women was super nervous but that went away as we sailed over through the beautiful skies. Also in our basket was a Pakistani working in Sweden as a nurse and a lovely Colombian couple. We all enjoyed getting to know each other. This moment was a great example of why I was taking a sabbatical. This was a new experience for me and I was meeting wonderful people. What a great way to start the day.


My first ever hot air balloon ride


A beautiful Moroccan morning

I spent the rest of the morning at the Yves St. Laurent museums and gardens. The amazing French clothes designer loved Marrakech and this place celebrated his many contributions. It was interesting to see how this openly gay man was celebrated by the local culture. Little by little I was seeing that the Moroccans were at least accepting of his homosexuality which surprised me. Like many things in life, it’s not always black and white. We all live in versions of grey.


The fashions of the YSL museum


The gardens next to the YSL museum

I loved strolling through the gardens and they were full of Instagramers striking poses in this beautiful setting. I love how so many people have now taken on the role of fashion model. I sat on a park bench and enjoyed watching everyone enjoy themselves.

As I toured around that morning, I had been chatting on Grindr with a local named Yasser. So we met up for lunch at Cafe de France for some sandwiches. He was a very nice local guy. I was impressed that he was fairly out. All of his friends knew he was gay but not his parents. This is fairly typical. But he works in a hotel and has his own apartment that he shares with another guy. So many people live with their parents in much of the world until they get married. So he had worked out a more independent pathway.

After lunch he suggested that he tour me around Marrakech on his scooter. Ugh. I am always very conflicted about this. I have long felt scooters and motorcycles are just too dangerous. I had a good friend of mine in Malawi died while riding his motorcycle leaving a wife and son behind. Then in LA, I had two friends get permanent spinal cord injuries from scooter accidents.

But life is a series of risk assessments. The issue was that he only had one helmet. He offered his to me but then he wouldn’t have one. I told him I would follow him in a taxi but he didn’t like that. Imagine how Roman Holiday would have turned out if Audrey Hepburn had followed Gregory Peck in a taxi instead of riding with him on the Vespa?!? Yasser said it wasn’t a problem and got another helmet by asking the parking attendant! Problem instantly solved. I have to say that I find the ability to quickly solve problems very attractive on a man.


My Audrey Hepburn moment

So our tour of the outskirts of Marrakech began. I saw lots of different areas. We stopped for a coffee at a huge shopping mall that he was proud to show off. And finally we went back to his apartment to hang out. I always love seeing how the local people live. His flat was a nice two bedroom in a six storied building. It was a warm day but he had fans that helped cool us off. We chatted and had a very nice time together.

Finally he dropped me back at my Riad so I could have a swim and a nap. We met up for dinner at a fun restaurant that he picked out called Queen! The food was excellent and we shared a nice bottle of French wine. I really enjoyed my time with Yasser. Such a sweet guy. I am sure we will meet again on a future trip.

It was my last night and I had said goodbye to Yasser early since I needed to be up at 4:15 am. I really enjoyed meeting the locals in Morocco. This visit to Morocco had been an entirely different experience than my visit when I was 18. The biggest change was me. I was no longer a timid, young, blossoming gay guy that was very uncomfortable with the aggressiveness of the Moroccan men. Instead, I visited with much more wisdom and experience which enabled me to meet wonderful people and see the best of what Marrakech had to offer. I will definitely come back to Morocco when I’m staying back in Spain next May and June.

My car picked me and my tiny backpack up at 4:45 am from the Riad. I have to say that it feels great to travel light. My Spanish friend David’s advice to bring little was great. I definitely ended up wearing everything that I brought because I was sweating so much. But it worked out perfectly.

At 5:15 am I was expecting a quiet little airport. Instead I was met with a line 100 people long just to get in the building. Then I didn’t realize that I was in the queue for females. Ugh. So the line for males was even longer. Once inside, I found the Ryanair queue and joined with many of my fellow passengers. I hadn’t been able to check-in via the app again. Luckily it all went smoothly. The funniest part was that for the first time in decades, I was issued a handwritten boarding pass on Swissport paper. My last handwritten boarding pass had to be in Malawi, Africa around 1990, a mere 32 years ago. It was like traveling back in time! I kept this wonderful souvenir and it lives now underneath my clear mobile phone case for me to enjoy.


A handwritten boarding pass! A blast from the past.

Thanks to my Priority Pass, I had the Pearl Lounge to enjoy. Unfortunately when it opened at 6 am, the lounge attendant said they had no coffee or anything to eat. That doesn’t happen until later. Okay. So I went back out to grab a coffee and croissant from a nearby cafe. The funny thing is that the cafe wouldn’t take my Moroccan currency. Just Euros or Dollars. I was losing on all fronts. The line to exchange my leftover money was huge and I decided to keep the money as souvenirs.


The only client this morning in the Pearl Lounge which had nothing on offer.

My second ever Ryanair flight went as smoothly as the first. As much as people can complain about low cost carriers, they do their job. Cheap and efficient. Without them, there wouldn’t be any direct flights either! So it’s a win win.

Back in Malaga, I Uber’d back to Torremolinos and met up for lunch with Jack. We chose one of my favorite shellfish restaurants. Good food up until the last moment. We had just been apart for a few days and we had lots to catch up on. I can’t believe that this was my last meal in Southern Spain until next Spring. It was hard for me to think about where my mind would be when I return.


A wonderful seafood lunch with Jack back in Torremolinos

Soon enough I grabbed my two bags from Jack’s place and was in an Uber back to the airport. I had decided to fly up to Madrid rather than taking the train. Sometimes taking the train in Spain involves lots of stairs. I just didn’t want to lug my luggage too far. And it’s only 4500 Avios points plus a few euros tax. Definitely cheaper than the AVE high speed train.

Unfortunately, since Iberia doesn’t have a large presence at the Malaga airport, I couldn’t just check in at the Iberia business class counter. I had to wait until the counter opened for my specific flight. Ugh. I was planning on writing in the lounge. So I went downstairs and sat at a cafe to write. Finally they checked me in easily and I was quickly ensconced in the Sala VIP. Once again the food offerings were amazing: Spanish omelet, gazpacho, pork in mushroom sauce, fish in green sauce, chickpea stew with spinach, macaroni with ratatouille, and two different desserts. Meanwhile my friends in the Aadmirals lounge charge me for a dry sandwich! Where did we go wrong? I did my best to sample much of it along with a nice glass of local cava.


I love that my hometown Malaga Sala VIP has such great food!

I boarded my Iberia flight and sat next to this nice Icelandic guy. It took about one minute to figure out that he has a flat in Torremolinos and we know lots of common folks. He had had dinner with Jack a couple of days ago. Like I’ve said before, It’s a Small Gay World After All. We giggled our way up to Madrid. He’s a flight attendant of Iceland Air and had lots of fun travel stories. We had a great time together!


Bjorn, my new one degree of separation Icelandic friend

Jorge was away in Berlin, so I had his place to myself for the night. I met up with Luis, his boyfriend Andy, and their friend Carlos at the Honk Kong Kitchen for a little dim sum for dinner. Then we went to a daddy watering hole, Bar 12. It was a super fun evening and I was quite nostalgic to be back in my old stomping grounds of Madrid. It will always feel like home for me. And it holds a special place in my heart because it was the first place I ever kissed a guy, just down the street on Calle de Hortaleza.


Out with the boys in a Chueca bar

I had a lovely brunch in the morning at Mür. A latte and Eggs Benedict are a nice way to start the day. Because of the late night, I slept until almost noon. With it being Sunday, I always love going back to sleep for a nice siesta to make up for the lack of a proper night’s sleep. It felt wonderful. And soon I heard Jorge arrive back home from Berlin and the fun continued. We hadn’t seen each other for a week and had so much to catch up on. We had both traveled to foreign countries and had a story or two.

Soon enough it was time for us to begin our Madrid tapas crawl with Luis. Luckily Ubers are everywhere and fairly cheap in Madrid so soon enough we were standing at the Plaza Mayor. This place brought back so many memories for me. I have been here with all my family and so many friends. A very jetlagged five year old Corbin even feel asleep in his chair at one of the cafes on the south side of the plaza.


King Phillip III with Luis and Jorge

The late afternoon sky provided a stunning backdrop as Luis arrived and we took a picture in front of the King Phillip III statue. Our tapas crawl started at a bar that Jorge’s father always would bring him. We ordered cañas and they offered us a complimentary aperativo snack, toast with a creamy Roquefort spread. There would be NO kissing boys tonight after eating this!


I love a free little bit of Roquefort on toast

At our next stop we were offered some chorizo style blood sausage. Then we ordered some stuffed peppers, and olive/pepper/anchovy skewers. Finally a variety of seafood, chicken, and Iberico ham croquetas helped finish us off this meal. I just love eating this way. And doing it with friends in my home town of Madrid makes it perfect.


The tapas crawl continues in Madrid



Stuffed peppers



A salty, pickled skewer



Croquetas heaven

In spite of it being a school night, we headed next to the nearby gay bar, Sixta. It’s a super friendly neighborhood place that felt like a gay version of Cheers. Unfortunately, as we were walking in I received a text from my husband. He shared that our friend Ben had died unexpectedly that morning. I was in shock. I knew Ben when we both sang with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles. We had so many wonderful times together over the years. He was a pillar at our summer “Long Boozy Lunches” at The Abbey in West Hollywood. Nothing better than a two martini lunch and then mani-pedis with your favorite girlfriends. One of my best memories of Ben was when we were on a concert tour through South America. We had several TV appearances along the way and in Uruguay we had a very early morning appearance on their version of Good Morning Uruguay. It had been a super late evening out meeting locals at the clubs. And during this live show, I swear Ben was still slightly drunk and his goal was to make me laugh on camera. What a fun time we had. The performance turned out great and it was funny how many people stopped us throughout the day saying they had seen us on TV! The show was more popular than I expected.


Ben and me just before our early morning 2007 "Good Morning Uruguay" TV appearance. A little makeup definitely covers up the lasting effects of a night of fun.

The evening turned into a mini eulogy for Ben and I started telling Jorge and Luis so many of the stories of my adventures with Ben. My bff Robert and I often remind each other of the importance of carpe diem. Appreciate each day and live it like it’s your last. This was also one of those moments when I really felt like I was doing the right thing by taking my year of this sabbatical. I was taking advantage of this amazing opportunity.


Boys at breakfast

We started the day the next morning at Jorge’s favorite nearby cafe. Then I was off to get a COVID test so that Qatar would let me in. In just a few months, Qatar would be welcoming the world for the World Cup but at this point they still wanted to see a negative test. It seemed like a unnecessary €80 but it’s the price of travel during this long lasting global pandemic. And a few minutes later, I got the email. Surprise! I was negative!


So happy to be back in my old stomping ground

The best news of the morning was that Taiwan announced that they would be opening their borders to tourists again in a few weeks! This means that I would be able to visit in December. Japan was still the only country on my itinerary that was still not open. Hopefully that would change before I arrived.

So I went back to Jorge’s and booked my ticket from Hong Kong to Taipei. I was really excited as this would be my first visit to Taiwan and I had heard so many wonderful things. Thanks to point.me, I found an amazing deal on EVA in a bed in business for 15K miles! I also decided that I would just transit in Hong Kong instead of waiting to see if they opened their borders. I would have loved to see our friends there but I was feeling fairly pessimistic. I would be flying from Singapore on SQ in First connecting to the EVA flight. The SQ flight was supposed to be my first time in New Suites on a A380. But since Hong Kong wasn’t really open, they downgraded the aircraft to a 777. I would have to wait until April 2023 when I am scheduled to fly New Suites from JFK to FRA. I’ve got my fingers crossed. I have desperately wanted to try this amazing new product which looks to be the best in the world of commercial aviation currently.



Casa Macareno for a bargain lunch

Jorge brought me to Casa Macareno for his favorite menu del dia restaurant. For €15 you get the typical starter, main, dessert, wine, and bread! We had octopus on a puree, chicken, and a creamy shellfish dish. So delicious. And a bargain too!


Octopus on potato puree

That afternoon I met up with a friend Edilberto and we walked around the gay area Chueca and finally sat to have a beer. They are super interesting as they are fairly non binary presenting with traditional male characteristics like a beard and rocker type clothes. But also they wear makeup too. I love the overall look and it’s a great expression of exactly who they are. In Spanish, there is now a way to use non-gender forms of the words. For example, instead of the traditional “guapo” for males, or “guapa” for females, “guape” is accepted as neutral. This means you can use “chico”, “chica”, or “chique”. The hardest part is that “a” and “o” are hard vowels and “e” is a soft vowel. Thus on some words the spelling changes to create a neutral version. I love the evolution of language. I am a big fan of not needing to sort people into gender boxes as we talk to or about them. Is it really super important to declare one's gender in order to have a basic conversation? I think not.

That evening Jorge and I went to a quiet Mexican restaurant not too far from his place. I am definitely missing more Mexican food in my life. I realize now how much I used to eat in California. My food truck just down the from my office in San Francisco made amazing carnitas burritos. It’s a staple that I just don’t find much in Spain. We also enjoyed some Silver Patron margaritas and it was a great last evening.


My last meal in Europe with mi hija Jorge

Tomorrow I would be leaving Europe after three wonderful months. This moment also marked the milestone the Sabbatical was now a quarter over! Wow, it was all going so fast. In my first month in Torremolinos I felt like I was getting my sea legs for the sabbatical. It had been a tumultuous four months getting the house ready to sell and then downsizing our lives. The first month of this sabbatical was about recovering from all that work and huge changes. I really enjoyed my time in Southern Spain and I decided that after spending much of August in Portugal and France, I wanted to head back to Torremolinos. I wasn’t done yet. There was more for me to experience there.

I really enjoyed seeing my brother and sister-in-law’s new life in Braga, Portugal. They credit me with the idea that they could sell their house in California, retire, and begin a new life in Portugal. And it seems like it has really worked out for them. They are loving it. Sharing the experience with them was very fulfilling. Then having the opportunity for us to pop up to southern France and visit our French relatives was magical. We all left wanting to see much more of all of them.

The rest of my stay in central Portugal and in Lisbon was also wonderful. I met a number of people that really helped me think about other options for life after The Sabbatical. While I don’t have any solutions yet, my brain has enjoyed brainstorming possibilities of life with my husband, possibly with some non-traditional ways of living it. My whole life, I have often walked down a different pathway than most. I feel lucky that I have the opportunity to live like this.

Finally returning to Torremolinos for my third month in Europe felt really good. I felt like I was coming home. My friendships grew deeper and I really found myself happy and content. Sharing it with Paul and Susan when they visited me in Spain was an important moment. They were really surprised that I already had a wonderful community of people in my life there. They also enjoyed the food and lifestyle offered by Southern Spain. They would definitely be back.

My friendship with Jorge and Jack has been one of the highlights of my time in Europe. Not only has my relationship with each of them grown, but we all really appreciate being together with the three of us. We have a wonderful bond that I look forward to strengthening further.

The next three months are super exciting. I will be visiting Egypt for the first time. I will spend time with my South African family. I will experience Asia in a deeper way than I have been able to before. I get to spend the final three weeks in December “eating my way through Asia” before heading back to California for a short visit for the holidays. The format of the trip is going to change compared to my time in Europe. I am not even sure if I will be in apartments or not. But it’s an adventure and I am willing to be flexible and see what feels good.

At this point I leave Europe with a huge smile on my face. This experiment seems to be working. I am having a lot of fun. I am meeting lovely people. But most importantly, I have been taking time to think about myself. Time to reflect. Time to wonder. And time to write down my thoughts and impressions. None of this is natural to me. But it feels like it’s exactly what I should be doing.

And the journey continues.