When I was young and growing up in the South, there was a certain pride in Delta, which had its origins in Atlanta. We figured we could show all those big boys from New York City how it’s done down in the South.

Flash forward to 2022. My humble, no-status economy transcontinental seat came with no power in the overhead panel! So that we couldn’t turn on overhead lights and sat in darkness for most of the entirety of a 5-hour journey to New York. That was not the only thing that didn’t work on my IFE controls. Conveniently we couldn’t call for a flight attendant to inform them of numerous problems, like a useless USB port that was just a hole in plastic casing. The IFE itself had to be rebooted three times and, even then, the flight tracker was the only comedy worth watching as the moving map would randomly jump to Africa or Saipan.

When we finally managed to flag down a steward his reaction was basically he couldn’t care less. When you are running a business, employee ennui is a fatal sign. Delta’s air and ground crews seemed very dispirited, as if life hadn’t turned out as hoped and, hey, this is a job I need. Though I grew up in the South, let me say there is nothing that sounds stupider than stupidity done with an Atlanta drawl.

I have yet to describe the most egregious features of this Trip. For this transcontinental route, Delta mostly flies aged 767-300s. (For one thing it means this airline does not have funds to invest in capital stock.) The thing you must remember about the 767 is that even though the interior cabin had been updated, for structural reasons the middle overhead bins could not, the updating there consisting of the equivalent of a new coat of paint. Delta’s economy cabin in a 767 is configured as a 2-3-2, meaning for 43% of the economy seats it sells, those passengers will NOT be able to fit a normal-size carry on above their seats. No wonder on the morning of the flight we suddenly receive an “offer” from Delta to check in our carry on for “free.” Beware airlines suddenly foregoing a $30 fee.

We take partial responsibility for not having planned this trip well. We were heading to our freshwoman daughter’s Parents Weekend and made the mistakes of: i/ Flying Delta; ii/ transiting through JFK; and, iii/ not building in enough of a time lag before our connection. Our juvenile jokes in youth included saying when you fail your driving test three times, they allow you to become a taxi driver. Four times? A bus driver. Now we wonder if you fail five times whether they allow you to design Air Traffic Control around JFK? Our flight was delayed due to, you guessed It, ATC. We actually made up all the time en route because we had a demon tailwind, but the approach to land at JFK was delayed because of, you guessed it, ATC. Originally my connecting flight was supposed to be close to my landing gate. By the time we arrived, it was in another concourse. We missed our connection.

Experienced travelers will know what happened next, as we queued up for Delta’s “service” desk. Because it was ATC, Delta took no responsibility but to book me on the next morning’s flight. I always wonder about the massive reparation claims that must be coming in to ATC and to that other major culprit, Weather. For ATC alone it must be enough to build another new JFK. The clubby regulatory environment the US airlines have set up must be the envy of other industries, eg pharmaceuticals. To be able to invent bogeymen like ATC (ie, your regulator) amd Weather (God) to palm off responsibility (and get federal pandemic relief to boot) must see airline CEOs chuckling themselves to sleep every night.

So $460 poorer for a hotel stay I didn’t need and 1/3 of my daughter’s college weekend wrecked later, what else do I have to complain about?

Don’t Fly Delta.