I am slowly getting use to the idea of The Sabbatical. I have been planning it so long that I kind of have to remember that it’s actually happening right now. After spending a week in Torremolinos just west of Malaga in southern Spain last summer, I knew I wanted to come back. This time I will spend a whole month here, maybe more.

Torremolinos is a fairly small city with long beaches. It is very bust in the summer with lots of tourists from central and Northern Europe. Most importantly I found last summer a great community of retired gay folks that make this their home for at least part of the year. It’s sort of the Palm Springs but on the coast. And fewer people from Los Angeles.



The streets are quiet during siesta time

For my stay here, I needed a place where I could see the ocean. So I booked a nice Airbnb with decent but distant view of the Mediterranean Sea. I can hear the roar of the waves much of the time which I find calming spirit building. It’s a one bedroom recently renovated apartment and will definitely meet my needs for the month.

I met a guy at the front door to get the keys and I immediately recognized him! Torremolinos is a pretty small community. But I knew his face. As we chatted and got into the apartment, I asked him if he knew Jack or Lauren and Alexis. He said yes! And then I asked him if he was at their summer white party last year and he was there! What a small world. There were about forty of us there but he remembered me because I was the only American.

Soon he left and I starting letting my bursting suitcases explode in the living room. I showered and started unpacking but soon gave up. I needed to take a stroll before it got too late. So I put on some shorts and a t-shirt and headed out.

I was about 50 meters down my street when I saw a gay couple walking their dog. As I continued to look, I thought I recognized them. Now, I was jet lagged and it was dusk. And how the hell did I think I knew them?!?! I was fairly certain but decided to just move on since the odds were very small and I had already recognized the first person I met!

I walked around through La Nogalera area teaming with restaurants and bars. Finally as I passed the Armario Bodega, I saw the same couple now seated having drinks. I walked past to get a better look. I definitely recognized them. But I had only met them once, at the SF Eagle club. So I turned around after passing them, and ask if they were friends of my dear friend Tom. YES! It was them. This was getting crazier. They invited me to have a seat and a caña, beer, with them as we reconnected. They now live in Madrid but had recently bought a place here in Torremolinos. Soon the heaviness of jet lag and lack of sleep was hitting me hard so I headed back to my flat for some much needed sleep in a proper bed. I picked up a few things for breakfast at a corner store and hit the hay.

I woke at a reasonable 8 am and enjoyed my morning coffee as I tackled putting all my things away and settling into my apartment. Next I took a long walk down the beach to Benalmádena and back. Along the way I enjoyed the smell of the open wood fires cooking local sardines. My stomach was starting to let me know that it was hungry but it was 1:30 pm which is on the early side for lunch in Spain. I walked past many “chiringuitos” with their beach bars and restaurants. I ended up in at Eden which is a very popular gay chiringuito with very nice food. I started with an Andulcian gazpacho and then had an amazing Iberico pork loin that had been roasted perfectly.

I returned home and took a serious hour and a half siesta. Jet lag was still clouding my head. It felt so good to be back in bed!

My friend Jack had been texting me and so we met up at Bar Jerez for a caña around 7:30. The funny thing is that the sun was still high in the sky and it felt like 5 pm. It was great to see him again. He’s an American that has had a flat here for a number of years. He’s here full time now and really enjoys the Spanish life. Along the way he picked up a lovely Cuban boyfriend and they enjoy themselves here.




He had a birthday dinner to go to so I moved on to an amazing tapas restaurant called La Pepa that I ate at last summer. I still remember this amazing merluza fish tapa in a friend roll thing that actually one “Best Tapa” in all of Spain a few years ago.

I also had some amazing croquetas which are my absolute favorites. And I finished up with yummy oxtail sandwich. They were all perfection. It will be hard not to come here all the time and try everything on the menu and from the specials board.



Tapa of the Year in a national competition



Croquetas de Jamón Iberico

In spite of the delicious food, the highlight of the meal was when one of the waiters came up to my table. Now, he wasn’t my waiter. But he had a group of tables nearby. He approached my table finally and asked me “Do you mind if I tell you something” in Spanish. I said sure! He responded, “Really?” “Of course”. He paused. And then said, “Eres guapísimo!” (You’re very handsome!) I love Spanish men. Not bashful nor ashamed. He was very handsome himself and about 30 years old.

I awkwardly laughed like a 14 year old girl and then we chatted a bit. He was very sweet but soon had to get back to work. This was an unexpected surprise on my first day of The Sabbatical. Next he came by and said that he wanted to offer me a shot. Now, I’m 56 and gave up doing shots in my thirties. Nothing good every comes from shots. But he insisted and asked what I would like: vodka, whiskey, limoncello… I reluctantly selected limoncello and once again was giggling as he went off. I had asked if he would have one with me but he said he was forbidden since he was working.

At the end I thanked him and said I was here for a month and was sure we would see each other again. Two cheek kisses and I was on my way with a big smile on my face.

The gays use a variety of unique social networking apps and I narrow my networking to Grindr and Scruff. Not only are they hookup apps, but they are also a great place to meet people when in a new place. So I met online this American couple from southern Florida that also has a place here. After dinner they were having a drink and invited me to join them. Then other friends joined. And Jack’s boyfriend Livan and Carlos that I met last summer also came by.

At some point I looked at my watch and it was around 3 am! I needed to get home and SLEEP. I said goodbye to all and started to make my way home.

I have a bad habit. After a night of drinking, I love a late night (or early morning in this case) snack. In LA it was the folks selling bacon wrapped hot dogs with jalapeños. Nothing tastes better. But at 3 am in Torremolinos I had an option of a pizza or a gyro. The pizza won. Sooooo good. I am not sure my stomach really wanted a pizza in it as I slept but I sure enjoyed it.

I walked through the emptied streets back to my flat. I was feeling really good. In spite of being alone on this journey, I had seen old friends today and made new ones. I really enjoyed myself.

The interesting thing that kept happening throughout the day was something would happen and then I would want to share it with my husband. Text him. Or call him. But I stopped myself. Part of The Sabbatical is to give each other the space to grow. So I refrained. I enjoyed the moments myself.

And with that, the first full day of my sabbatical journey came to a close as I sleepily crawled into bed. I wonder what the next 364 days will bring.