1993gt40

Profanity free for now anyways. I thought it might be fun to give my fellow FT’ers a view into the life of a road warrior. And for those of you who share the same lifestyle, you will surely relate and get a chuckle at times. My adventures have been shared in great detail with many of you in FT Chat. And during slow times, or when my travels are uneventful, I will re-tell some of the highlights of my time on the road like the now infamous Kalamazoo ‘Lindsay’ incident. This is sure to be an epic thread as it will follow my travel experiences and document some of my time on the road. From the outside some may find it horrifying, some may not, but I assure you that at times you will laugh hysterically and at other times feel the pangs of sadness.

To give you, the readers, some background I’ll share a little about me so that the framework for many of my misadventures are better understood. I am a mid-twenties single guy who works for an unnamed large consulting firm. I am on the road 5-6 days a week, every week. I ‘live’ in Austin Tx. and am currently staffed in Pasadena Ca. Any given Sunday you can catch me on AA flights 1360 and 2475, as I am today while writing this. Any given Friday I’ll be on flight 1696. The trip is usually uneventful, as it is every week. Sure on occasion I have to sprint through DFW to make my flight, after all, it is the size of Manhattan. I learned the hard way that sometimes it’s better to run than catch the TrAAin for a multitude of reasons. I digress. My life consists of planes, trains, rented automobiles, rented rooms and, single serving food served in disposable plastic containers. I have a ‘home’ I rarely see, even then it is just a glorified closet that I use to re-supply my suitcase and keep the local drycleaner in business. I will be hard pressed to put 5,000 miles on my car in a year, and 2 hours of stick time in my boat (my greatest passion in life).


11/17/04 - What a fitting first entry I have to share this week. Of course Sunday November 14 provided to be a day of non-stop airline and travel entertainment. This happens on occasion as when so many things are left out of your control failures and disconnects are bound to happen. I don’t even let them bother me anymore since they are TRULY out of my control, but I have NO tolerance for stupid people and have NO objection to voicing my opinion at times. That being said; Today was a day like many others, full of idiotic travel. I begin my day just outside of Houston Tx where I had been visiting my family. I quickly gathered my belongings shoved them in my briefcase kissed my family good by and hit the road. I drove to Houston as being able to drive my car was an unusual treat that I enjoy very much (hey, it’s a big V-8 American sports car, who wouldn’t?). So it was 2.5 hours of open roads, loud music, and some generally blissful ‘me’ time. All the while I am watching the clock remembering that I have a 5:00 flight. I feel embarrassed to admit, but my life is more dictated by airline schedules than it is by my own influence at times. I got to my home in Austin at 3:30, whew, just enough time to unpack from the week before, shove some new things into the suitcase, turn around and head out the door to the airplane awaiting me. Well,.. . This took a little longer than I thought it would and I find myself in a bit of a hurry to get to the airport on time. I KNOW I need to check in at 4:10 at AUS to make my 5:00 flight without relying on someone else to make sure that happens. I park the car at 4:08. It’s a mad dash to the kiosk to check in!! The escalator is broke so I have to carry my bags up the stairs and across the airport arriving at the kiosk at 4:15pm. @#$*&!! Thinking that I may be in for some trouble at this point, I swipe my AA card through the machine, enter LAX as my destination, and it finds my record. What a min, it’s letting me check in, SWEET!, I made it!! Well, yes, I had indeed made it, in great time I might add, for my 7:00pm flight. Thinking to myself that I am such an idiot, I could have spent at LEAST an hour and a half at home this weekend! Oh well, I’m here, I’m not leaving.

So I have lunch/dinner at the Schlotzsky’s at AUS, and settle into a seat near gate 14 where I can plug in my laptop for some juice to write this with. The wait was something I was used to as this is not the first time I have done this. The time passes without event. I take my seat on the Mad Dog at A-7. I prefer a window for this short hop from AUS to DFW, especially if it is on the port side of the aircraft. There is nothing I love more than a sunset at 21,000 feet. Also, The fleeting skyline of my beloved city is always enjoyable. Not to mention I have seen more of Lake Travis from the air this year than I did in either one of my boats.

We all board without event and the door shuts, and the plane pushed back. *sniff* goodbye Austin. Just then the engines spool up and we roll forward to the gate again. The Captain makes the announcement that warning lights were going off in the cockpit. Fine by me, fix it if you must. Turns out it was just a gauge. We take off at 7:50 for DFW. Hmm, mechanical delay, 8:45 departure from DFW, I’m not going to make it unless I run. I’ll worry about it in Dallas, right now, I am going to enjoy my flight. Unfortunately, a rather portly woman has spackled me to the window. While this was unpleasant in and of itself, but god good, do NOT take chips and queso with guacamole on the plane with you people! Thank god it is a short flight and I’m young or I’d have required re-assembly when we landed. The actual flight was rather uneventful. But we did have a nice wait on the tarmac in DFW to further complicate my connection. ‘Eh so I catch the next one I think to myself.

The Mad Dog pulls into the gate with 16 min before the door closes. I am at C25 and I need to get to A12. So I start heading that way, maybe I’ll make it, maybe I wont. I get there and the door is closed and the plane has already pushed back. Oh well, I should at least get a bump voucher for this. So I go to the gate attendant who is the most worthless uninformed idiot I have ever delt with at AA. He proceeds to put me stand by for the next one in 1.5 hrs which is oversold. Then Mr. T. Phillips (the ever so helpful gate attendant) instructs me that AA (and I quote) “The flight was oversold, we do not give vouchers in this situation”. So I ask him again, and get the same response as I did not want to jump to conclusions. My jaw it the floor, I instructed him that he should notify his manager about the new policy that he has enacted for his employer. Oh well, I’m not too concerned as they would only expire in my drawer along with the stacks of other like it. (I realize this may be a strange concept for FT’ers, but I don’t care much for miles, vouchers, points or what not. Status is important to me, but not much else, I’m never that motivated to travel much. I take vacation to go home!) . So I think, no big deal, I’m EXP, I’ll get on this flight. Well, they only accept one volunteer for the flight to give up his seat. Unfortunately I did not get that seat. Then it hits me, I’m strAAnded! Thank you AA!

FanFreakingtastic! Just then, I notice, oh no,. It couldn’t be,. My good friend Mr T. Phillips comes to work the gate and hand out hotel vouchers!! Oh wonderful I think to myself. So, they start calling people for their hotel vouchers and seat assignments for tomorrow’s flight. Now, by this point I have talked to all the others who did not make it on and they were all stand by from the flight I missed earlier. Not surprising, as it tends to happen like that. I have also found out that not a single one of them had any status what so ever. So I breathe a sign of relief thinking I will get a seat before the rest of them since I have good status and provide a very generous stream of revenue for AA. So I wait for my name to be called, LAST. No big deal, right. So he proceeds to tell me that AA will cover ½ the cost of the hotel, OF THEIR CHOOSING! Ok, now I have been calm and polite the whole time, while I will not abandon that philosophy at this juncture, I am no longer going to stand idle. AA, Your going to have to kiss me before you F^ me! So I say that this is completely unacceptable and it is the policy of AA that on a Mechanical delay they are responsible for the cost of my room. So he look up my flight (which he now obviously had not before I got there) and says ‘OK’ and not another word. I was expecting further discourse, but I should have known better from Mr. T. Phillips by now. He prints up a bunch of things and lays them out in front of me and starts going over it. He put me standby for the 7:00 am flight, booked me on the 8:20am flight and have me a hotel voucher at AA’s expense. So I look at it, look at him, look at it, look at him and say “dAAys Inn?! You bump me from PAID F class for reasons solely responsible for by AA, do not issue me a bump voucher on the premise of some policy you made up on the spot, put me on stand by then book me into COACH?! You sir, are not making me a happy pax. Can I speak to a Complaint Resolutions Officer (knowing full well that I was not going to find one at 10:00pm on a Sunday night)?” So He radio’s to someone who calls him, who radio’s someone else, who makes a call to some office, who radio’s a CSM to call Mr T. Phillips. He tells me there are no officers available tonight and that I should call “800-433-7300” and ask for one. (yeah, go look up that number and laugh like I did). So I thank Mr T. Phillips for his patience and walk off to baggage in the vein hope I may be able to get my bag.

And of course my bag made the flight that I did’nt. I thought that was against FAA regs, but I don’t know, nor do I care at this juncture. I call *wood and book a room at the closest Starwood; The Sheraton Grand at DFW for $158 for tonight. Great, I’ll take it because I am NOT staying at the dAAys Inn! So I wait 45 min for the shuttle and I am off!

I check in at Mid-night and have to be out by 5:00 to make my 7:00 am flight. Not too much to say about the Sheraton Grand as I was only there for 5 hours and unconscious for the majority of it. It was OK, but I cant imagine it was worth $158/night. I then make the smartest move of the whole night, I call the AA XPlat desk and get CONFIRMED on the 7:00 which had open seats I might add! (thank you Mr. T. Phillips)

The next morning I get up and shove my laptop into my briefcase which is now my only piece of luggage and off I go. I stand in the terminal waiting to board when I see one of the PAX that got bumped with me last night. So I go talk to her and ask if she is going to make it on or not (thinking she had been issued a standby ticket like *I* was). Turns out Mr. T. Phillips BOOKED her on it!! So I board the plane red in the face mad now! I am EXP, I thought that meant something. Apparently not. So I take my seat at 18B and pass out for the remainder of the flight. I get to L.A. looking utterly wrecked and having to go to work now.

I get my rental car (Pontiac Grand Prix I think) and take my place in traffic that can only be likened to waiting for Christmas in June. Now I KNOW, I cant go to work like this so I go to my hotel, Westin Pasadena and beg them to let me check in early so I can change and go to work. Of course they let me, I have stayed here for over 100 nights now and the desk staff knows me and is more than willing to accommodate.

Off to work I am, rolling into the office at 10:30 after having spent 18 hours trying to get here.

Welcome to the ‘real’ surreal life.